Christ almighty, what a catastrophic mess.
If you ignore that it is a remake, then it is an overblown, generic, piss-poor CGI laden, irredeemable, straight-to-streaming pile of crap.
Add in that it is meant to be a remake of a cheap-but-lovable 80s classic and it takes on a sinister twist.
Suddenly the lead character is a psychopath who kills for any old reason, not to mention waits until the bar he is hired to protect is smashed to smithereens before intervening, and is plagued with a sketchy set of morals.
And the equally homicidal nemesis this time isn't genuinely fearful, he's a cartoon steroid rooster with a terrible set of veneers. Oh and he can't act his way out of a paper bag. And he's playing himself - which is, in case you haven't worked it out, a total prick with an arrogance problem.
It's an insult to the viewers from start to finish. From the first "oh look I just got stabbed and the blade is sticking out of me, isn't that something" to the final killing spree with 180-degree changes of behaviour from all involved... It's just a pointless tedious exercise.
None of the charm of the original exists. None of the peril. None of the character.
Hollywood and Amazon should be rightfully ashamed.
I think the controversy with the director being angry that the film didn't get a theatrical release was probably a set up to get some free publicity. Doug Liman doesn't seem that stupid from what I've seen so even though it appears to be shot for the big screen, why would he care that much. He later when to the only theatre screening at the premier with the cast and said that he admitted he had lost so he wanted to be with the cast and crew to see it on the big screen. If he was genuinely so proud of this then he's just another hack.
Pretty much everyone is miscast in this film but that's not the worst aspect of it. I like Gyllenhaal but he's too nice so he didn't have the right vibe and wasn't able to make the transition to let his demons surface when his character arc called for it. McGregor has a certain quality that could have worked if he was able to be directed better and Doug Liman was discerning enough as a director to use his film making skills to mould the film around the capabilities of a non-professional like Connor. Maybe McGregor will do another film with a better director and he will surprise everyone (probably not, but maybe). Billy Magnussen didn't have the screen presence to play the head honcho and when he is sharing the screen with experienced bad guy actor Joaquim de Almeida, it makes it even more obvious. Daniela Melchior is clearly very attractive but it seemed like they deliberately make he look much more plain and the light romantic plot never really rang true.
Arturo Castro was actually the one actor who I felt came out looking good. He played the charmingly foolish Moe quite well.
I didn't expect so many people to be complaining about the editing effects in the fights, I thought they were bad but I guess I underestimated how many viewers are turned into that stuff these days. Early in the film they tried to use digital effects to make some head punches look more realistic and later they just went a bit nuts in the edit. Whether they were trying to mask failings in how they shot it or planned the effects is unclear. It was a dog's breakfast either way. When you have a lead that has put in so much work to get ready for the role and his main adversary is played by a real fighter, how does a director think that their fights will look better if augmented with special effects?
The "emotional" turns of the film fell flat and as a result Dalton's actions lacked the required motivation to make them ring true. He is unbelievably calm in every fight even having conversations about how his opponents will need medical care before he has even started beating them. This seems like it would be cocky and facetious but Dalton then shows that he cares about the well being of these thugs. When his "big" secret is revealed it doesn't ring true that the Dalton we are watching was once the guy described. The fact that even when he lets his demons loose he still acts with the same calm demeanor and never really seems to lose control
I really can't understand why so many people are hating on this movie. I understand if you think it's not a great movie but it certainly isn't horrible. I question your joy for movies if you say you can't even have fun watching it. 6/10 for me.
I thought the action was great, the callbacks to the og were really nice and subtle (not like those obvious ones that throw the movie off), and it was just a fun movie to watch.
Here's my pros (Excluding above for the most part)
1. I loved what they changed from the original and how they did it. Ex-UFC fighter, book store family, etc. I felt it worked well with the story.
The characters felt like they were real individuals. They all felt like their own. Even each biker felt like even though they were the baddies, they had their own thoughts. Especially the funny nice guy. Sorry to say, unlike the og. The bad guys mostly felt generic with a few solid ones and the barmembers were mostly there to fill slots besides a few.
I loved how Dalton was teaching the other's how to handle their clients. In the original, it was more of "just be nice until things get rough" but this one was slowly teaching them how to be rough when needed.
And even though Connor's acting isn't great.. He was a blast to watch. Absolutely hilarious.
Even though the ending was very Hollywood action film, it was still way less corny than the og ending.
Now for cons:
1. The storyline isn't fantastic, nothing to really complain about though.
Sadly, acting wasn't phenomenal across the board (except Jake ofc)
Even though Dalton killing that dude was sick and clearly his anger showed, I wish there was a more wild scene with him going nuts till he controlled himself. Like he did in the Octagon but actually stops himself. He was a beast during the fights but that rage wasn't quite there to bring the story home.
Just watched this "Road House" remake, and oh boy, where do I even start? The original with Patrick Swayze was an absolute gem, right? That mix of 80s grit, charm, and Swayze's undeniable cool made it iconic. But this 2024 version with Jake Gyllenhaal... I feel they missed what made the original so special.
Gyllenhaal tries his best, sure, but the whole thing feels like it's stuck in a weird limbo between wanting to pay homage and trying to be something new, and it just doesn't gel. The action scenes, which should be the highlight, feel like they've been zapped straight out of a video game with all that CGI. Remember the raw, in-your-face brawls from the original? This one's got none of that visceral punch.
And Conor McGregor as the villain... I mean, I like the guy, but acting might not be his calling. It's like watching a tiger trying to moonwalk - amusing but ultimately you wish it would stop. His character's like a cartoon villain but without the charm.And what’s with that walk? Cringey as F.
The whole thing just feels like a missed opportunity. They had the chance to build on the original's legacy but ended up with something that's more forgettable than memorable. There's a reason classics are classics, and some shoes are just too big to fill, I guess.
The writing is abysmal, the story telling is lacking and in a bad order (Start: why do people know who this guy is? He is entering fights using his reputation to scare his opponents, later: explains to us he was a UFC fighter, even later: the main character asks why everyone knows who he is. Huh?).
The band protected from glass bottles etc via chickenwire in 2024? Since covid every corner shop has had better protection than what that band was given. After the guy yells bar fight and people start randomly attacking each other you see people on the boats hanging from the roof...
The action was the only thing this had left going for it and what do we get blessed with? A ton of subpar CGI effects, impact zooms on pretty much every single punch and obvious no contact. Why didn't they just get some bareknuckle fighters to actually hit each other for the fight scenes? Wrestling is more believable than the hits in this movie.
Just another case of the remake being terrible.
Arturo Castro aka Moe, was a stand out character that actually made an impact to this movie. The bar owner, love interest, sheriff, bad guy all weakly scripted.
Despite its numerous flaws, the 2024 remake of "Road House" is entertaining trash. It is thus on par with the original, even if the new film may lack some of the charm of the 1989 version. Don't get me wrong, Jake Gyllenhaal is an excellent actor, but Patrick Swayze was made for this type of movie. The whole UFC background for Gyllenhaal's character, Elwood Dalton, was a good idea, though.
Still, you better turn your brain off when watching "Road House," because it's a consistently stupid movie. This is particularly evident in Conor McGregor's Knox, who significantly overshoots the mark. McGregor clearly had fun with the role, and this is partly transferred to the audience. However, he is not a performer who is even remotely blessed with acting talent.
It should certainly not go unmentioned that the entertainment value of the film diminishes over time. The opening is still really successful, and when Gyllenhaal deals out the first slaps, it really makes a splash. The finale, on the other hand, is pretty boring. Then the technical flaws, of which the film has a few, become much more obvious. However, as previously stated, it is entertaining overall. Perhaps you should watch it with a group of friends, though.
Review by JordyVIP 8BlockedParent2024-03-21T11:51:00Z
For something that tries to be as dumb and meatheaded as possible, this is quite boring. There’s an art to making a good bad movie and filmmakers seem so clueless whenever these are attempted nowadays. Most of the people involved probably weren’t coked-up enough to make the end result entertaining, unlike when these were made in the 80s. Take Jake Gyllenhaal, he’s obviously a great actor but someone who’s way too introverted for this type of material. By comparison, Conor McGregor fits this movie like a glove and he’s easily the most entertaining part by playing the same persona we’ve become accustomed to over the years (even if the performance is obviously quite terrible). As far as I’m concerned, his introduction scene is the only memorable thing about the movie, it’s this moment where the movie very briefly finds the right tone. The rest of the film is surprisingly bland and tame. Sure, the throwaway characters, simple story and terrible dialogue were all a given, but even the set pieces aren’t memorable as they’re often poorly staged and lacking in viscera. Someone gets eaten by a crocodile and we don’t even get to see it, the background extras during the big bar fights look amateurish and the choreography/stuntwork (besides a decent final fight) is often way too dull. The 80s, GTA Vice City aesthetic that’s promised by the poster doesn’t show up, most of this film has no visual personality. Then there’s the music, which might just be the worst thing about all of this. Right from the opening scene we’re met with auditory vomit courtesy of a cameoing Post Malone, following that there are occasional musical interludes that don’t complement the vibe of the film and on top of that score is filled with the type of ‘badass’ guitar riffing found in car commercials. None of it works in harmony, and I don’t get who it’s targeting. Much like the rest of the film I needed more wild energy for it to work, as the overall experience feels too much like camp by committee.
2/10