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"You hear that? That sounds like a bird, but it's not, it's a fucking ant."

I can't get enough of this film.

I love every thing about it. Jordan Vogt-Roberts more than pleasantly surprised me. I will not doubt him in the future.

The set-up, the story, the characters, the set pieces, the direction, the soundtrack, visuals, the colors, the action, just, everything. I don't understand how someone could not love this.

Even though the original 1933 King Kong is still the best film to date, Kong: Skull Island comes close to matching it's brilliance. Many people have to remember that while the 1933 classic was undeniably groundbreaking for it's time and carries a more subdued and personal story of beauty and the beast, the core story of the film is very much basic.

Here's a rundown:

A group of people are brought together for a mission to go to an uncharted island in the south pacific, dubbed Skull Island. They don't know what's there, but decide to head there to finally unravel the mystery behind one of the last unexplored places on Earth. Once they arrive, things go to hell. They meet natives, all sorts of creatures that want to eat them alive, and they encounter a giant destructive ape. The surviving explorers have to survive the horrors of the island and make it off alive in one piece.

Did I just describe King Kong (1933) or Kong: Skull Island (2016)? Eh, they sound similar? Both have different characters, subplots, and completely different tones, but metabolically is the same.

John Goodman is great in any role he's in. His best scene is his monologue towards Sam Jackson's character, Packard. Tom Hiddleston plays a standard mercenary, named James Conrad. He's a badass bar-fighting navigator who's paid to join Monarch's escort mission. Just same the as Goodman, he's great at delivering memorable lines. He reminds me a lot of Indiana Jones. But the emotional core of the film comes from John C. Reilly's character, Marlow. He lands on Skull Island back in World War 2 and is stranded there for over 20 years with a fellow enemy from the war. After the uniforms come off, they practically become brothers. He makes for a good comic relief, but soon takes over the story, as he reveals he has a wife and possible son that he's never met. He's the one you really root for, hoping he makes it off the island alive. I was surprised how deep Packard got as far as a character. He becomes a more tragic villain towards the end, as he slowly grows more and more obsessed with taking down Kong. After witnessing the giant ape take down all of his men, he kind of snaps. He couldn't handle another defeat after Vietnam, or has he says it, "We abandoned the war," and so his sanity was barely hanging on. Very pleasant surprise and Jackson does a great job as always. My favorite line of his is, "Bitch, please!" that he snaps at Brie Larson. Pretty epic shit.

Of course, Kong is just as amazing as ever. They perfected him this time around, the special effects are as good as you can get, on-par with the amazing Peter Jackson version. Before I went into the film, I was worried Kong was just going to become a standard giant monster that you wouldn't be able to relate to or get emotional with, but I was proven dead wrong. When I look at this ape, I see the same Kong I love and grew up with in the 1933 and 2005 versions; he's just a lot bigger here.

Jordon Vogt-Roberts absolutely nails the style of this film. I suppose a lot of the credit could be given to his cinematographer, who also does all the work for Zack Snyder, on films like 300 and Watchmen. But the slow-motion shots of the helicopter blades rotating, sunrise backdrops with Kong in the foreground, and Hideaki Anno style shots are littered all throughout... and it is just glorious. This is one of the most gorgeous films I've ever watched in a theater. The colors just pop out in every shot; every shot is just teaming with detail and beauty. I can't get enough of it. The slow-motion sequence with Tom Hiddleston in the green smoke, the blue and red color contrast in the bar scene, the sunset backdrop with the helicopters flying, the IMAX camera shots of Vietnam mountains, and the final monster battle are all wonderful. I can't list them all, because the entire film is just beautiful. Absolute perfection on a technical level here.

As I said in my previous review, This is the movie Jurassic World wanted to be. It's an epic, funny, loud, explosive, and visually incredible film giving us tons of great character moments and monster action. I absolutely love this.

Literally the greatest film I have ever seen. Marvel can just go the fuck home. They've got nothing on this academy award winning masterpiece. 'Batman v Superman' is going to end up in a hospital after witnessing this absolute blessing onto the world, not like my ex-wife who I thought was a blessing to me...

I thought 'Jaws' and 'King Kong' were my favorite movies of all time, but pfffff, bruh. This is the real classic. Those other two are fucking trash in comparison.

I can't even tell what I was watching, I remember hearing dialogue and a lot of pop songs, but fuck you. I remember listening to 'Paranoid' as I argued with my ex-wife. This movie is funny because I said so. Jared Leto as the joker was a brilliant choice. Who was that fucker, Heath Ledger? No one cares about him, Jared is the REAL choice pick for the joker. All 5 minutes of his screentime made me orgasm, his Hot Topic portrayal would totally appeal to mainstream critics.

Actually, all the characters would appeal to critics. Will Smith totally sells this movie and Jai Courtney is the greatest actor of all time. I used to love Marlon Brando and Robert Shaw, but those two fuckwads don't stand a chance in an audition against Jai Courtney. I loved it when Courtney terribly read dialogue off a prompter with no emotion. Best Actor Award winner right here, folks! I bet my ex-wife would win Best Actress.

I love how cringeworthy every line of dialogue is. This is supposed to be a group of funny characters in the style of 'Guardians of the Galaxy' but this movie actually works. Not like my ex-wife. Batman makes a small appearance here and there, which makes me can't wait to shill hard for the new Batman solo production. I can't wait to see the high score on Rottentomatoes for it. I heard Ben Affleck had to go to rehabilitation for alcohol addiction. Why go to rehab for alcohol addiction? I love beer and I don't have an addiction...

The rest of the characters I don't even know they're names, but they all said some funny dialogue, so that makes them well-developed and likable characters. Harley Quin was super hot, I loved the way her body looked in that outfit, like how my ex-wife's body looks in the bathtub. Crocodile head made me laugh a lot and Boomerang, AKA Jai Courtney, has the most useful super power on the planet. I never realized all you needed to be a super hero was having a boomerang as a weapon.

A true cinematic masterpiece. 'Casablanca' and 'Star Wars' have nothing on this true work of modern art. I wish I could talk more about, but the cops just showed up to the front door, so I gotta go. See y'all later!

Happy April Fools' Day!

I'm so glad I heard about it and had the pleasure of watching it. I haven't seen a movie break my heart that good in a long time. It's not usual for me to get actual tears going down my face.

'Train to Busan' is an incredibly rare horror movie that puts actual emotional investment into the characters, what I mean is, you actually care about who's going to live or die. This isn't a world-building movie, but one that devotes it's entire run-time to building an emotional attachment between the audience and the main cast. Not many modern Hollywood blockbusters and horror flicks do this motion, as they figure most people are just simply there for the thrills and the cheap jumpscares. 'Train to Busan' reminds me something. It reminds me how absolutely important it is to have characters you want to root for. The fact I actually cried for the main characters in this movie automatically puts it well above other horror and zombie movies that don't bother with this essential character development.

I loved it. I truly loved it. It's easily one of my new favorite zombie movies of all time, maybe even one of my new favorite dramas of all time. Watch it. It deserves your time and especially money.

Going to see Alien: Covenant right after this, I will have a review up hopefully soon.

I love the atmosphere in this movie. I'm a really huge fan of slow-burn silent kind-of creepy horror films that really souly on building suspense and building the world, rather than resorting to action or jumpscares. I think this is why I prefer Alien to Aliens, and The Terminator to Terminator 2. True horror movies, to me based on what I find scary, is relatable or likable characters being put in genuinely terrifying or claustrophobic situations.

What makes Alien effective is the location. Imagine yourself in Ellen Ripley's situation. Alone on an abandoned ship about to blow up, in very narrow corridors with no one else around, while an unstoppable killing machine is out to get you. That idea alone makes the movie, but the way Ridley Scott executes it, through the sound effects, lack of music, and pacing makes it one of the most tension-filled finales I've seen in a horror movie.

The rest of the movie is great too. There isn't much that happens in terms of story, but you grow attached to these characters as they get picked off one by one. You're constantly on the edge of you're seat anticipating what's going to come next. It's a constant up-hill battle as these group of characters try to figure out how they're going to defeat the alien life-form that's now loose on the ship. Sigourney Weaver, John Hurt, and Tom Skerritt are my favorites out of the cast of exceptional actors. They all do a good job with the material given to them, especially considering how dialogue-heavy the movie ends up being.

There isn't much else I can say, other than it's one of the best horror movies in history, with it's wonderful atmosphere and great setting, which many of follow-up movies tried to copy, but most end up failing to capture.

Um... what? I don't even know what I just watched, but I really liked it. That's the best way to describe this movie. It's so crazy, so filled to the brim, so over-the-top, and nonsensical, I just had to turn the analysis part of my brain off and accept the movie for what it is: A poorly written, but well-polished, incredibly directed, badass song tuning, and crazy action grindhouse B-movie. That's what it is. This could easily have been released as a 70's grindhouse feature, and everyone would fucking love it. The action scenes in this movie are some of the craziest set pieces I have ever seen. You've got these talented women in skin showing skirt outfits, wielding modern tactical rifles and pistols, going around shooting robots in a World War 1 trench. Yes, you just read that right. Want to go even crazier? Okay, how about flying a modern tactical helicopter over a medieval castle while firing guns at a dragon? Not enough for you? Okay, how about battling in the snow, fighting giant robot samurais wielding miniguns? This movie is so fucking crazy and stupid, that I can't help but like it for some reason. I think that's why most audience members and critics don't like it. This movie is the prime-example of "Hey guys, I decided to make a super fucking crazy ass movie, don't take it seriously, okay?" This movie is what happens when Zack Snyder takes some cocaine and is allowed to do whatever the hell he wants. I don't know why but I like it, a lot.

'Seven Psychopaths' is what I consider the perfect black comedy, or movie that's a drama with sprinkles of humor scattered throughout. I find all the jokes to be timed perfectly and placed just the right moments, but I find myself even more invested and caring for the more serious parts of the writing, which parts surprised me when I saw them come up, as I didn't get that impression I got when viewing the trailer. Martin McDonough perfectly balances poignant commentary about different kinds of psychotic individuals, while delivering crowd pleasing and hilarious set pieces and dialogue. It's truly one of the smarter written movies I've seen in the past few years, more than other acclaimed pieces. I found myself engaged the entire time, not once checking the time on my phone. The story moves along at just a frantic enough paces and showing off twists in the characters to keep the viewer interested, Billy being the absolute craziest and most lovable one of the bunch. I love that the Schi Tzu becomes his dog at the end. Wonderful little closure to the character.

Fantastic movie. I'm surprised it took me this long to see it. Just never came onto my radar, I suppose. Also wow, it's been 10 days since I've seen a movie, that's unusual for me.

This is one of the greatest films ever created, the one that made me a hardcore Charlton Heston fan. I know, the runtime can be a turn-away for casual viewers, but I don't view this as a movie. I've now seen The Ten Commandments twice in the theater and it's an experience. Through this four hour epic, we're introduced to the location of Egypt and every character imaginable, as they're woven into the story re-telling of the Book of Exodus. It's a tightly constructed, but vast world-building film that makes the audience feel like they're there with the slaves and Moses, as the days and months pass in the film's length. The special effects and green-screen composites are cheese and outdated by modern technology, but hold an old-time charm to them, a quality lost in new remakes, like Exodus: Gods and Kings. Cecil B. DeMille doesn't just slap together a shitty historical movie to make money like with shit such as Gods of Egypt, but pays respect and with great care, creates one of the best epics of all time. It's hard to explain everything in such a short review, so I won't bother but just tell you to watch this if you haven't. It's a must. Make some snacks and some drinks and sit down and watch this. It's well-worth your time and you won't regret experiencing the whole thing. Ideally, I'd say see it in a theater with an actual intermission, but that's hard to do, waiting for a re-release and all.

Shit, this is better than Blumhouse's Truth Or Dare. At least it shows some blood.

As a sequel to Final Destination 3, and even just a separate horror film, it's a ridiculous cheap disaster... however, if you take it as a comedy, this is a blast. Must watch, for sure, I put this shit on in the background doing work, one of those kind of movies. Every scene in this offers hilarious laughs, start to finish. The priceless NASCAR race sequence, topped with cars and debris just flying straight into the stadium's audience... and no other direction, those people are walking targets.. The punch lines spoken right before an impending death, the musical cues, and the outrageous antics that keep upping the last. Why the hell does a mall explode when there's no explosives anywhere to be found? What's with the EXTREMELY mouse trap death set ups needed in order for our terrible protagonists to be killed in? Why does someone start bleeding at the mouth because their foot is cut off? Why is there a bunch of explosives behind a movie theater screen? Why does a fence have sharp enough blades to cut through a guy's stomach? This movie rocks. It's some good garbage, and I think they knew what they were doing when making this. It's a trashy 'ol good time. The deleted alternate ending is pure fucking gold insanity.

This movie gave me a revelation. About movie-making. Both in a good way and a bad way. On one side of the coin, you now have studios like Blumhouse and Rat-Pac making decent competent horror movies that will satisfy audiences, as opposed to the shit that was being churned out for the last few years. But on the other side of the coin, they're not doing anything super unique or original. You always have to have child actors, you have to have the priest, you have to have a demon, you have to have this old secluded house where people move in, and etc. It's not automatically bad or lazy to use these tropes, but only if they're done with a unique style. And the problem is, I've seen a TON of movies lately use these common ingredients. I liked Ouija: Origin of Evil, but again in that, there was a demon possession, a priest, and house with a dark history to it. I get that doing this is safe and people will go to see it, but I'm hoping directors like David F. Sandberg and other people working with Rat-Pac try to move away from these plot threads. I don't know how much longer I can stand studios think they can get away with using this story over and over. That goes for you too Blumhouse.

Sorry, that was something I had to write down, because I started thinking about it a little more towards the end of this movie. In general, I start to know how I'm going to rate a movie when I reach a certain point. And I knew then how I thought of this Annabelle: Creation. It's safe. It works, but it's safe, and I don't know if I like that or not. I'm a huge fan of older horror pieces and B-movie-esque grindhouse, and it's a little sad directors and executives aren't trying to push the envelope.

But with everything out of the way, this on it's own isn't bad. It's pretty good. The child actresses all do a great job with the script they're given and I believed I was watching actual children interact with one another, which is a problem sometimes with kids. Lulu Wilson, who already starred in Ouija: Origin of Evil, gives another solid performance, and I want to see what else she does with the horror genre, if she decides to keep acting in it. I would love to see a The Exorcist-eque movie with her getting possessed. I believe she could pull off a Linda Blair. But in this, she isn't the one who gets taken over by a demon, but still perseveres and gives us a great scared child acting job. Talitha Bateman, who acts opposite Wilson and the two of them are like bonded sisters, she especially delivers an exceptionally dreary and depressing performance. She's crippled with polio and spends most of the movie in a wheelchair or walking with a support. And what I liked about this facet, is that it wasn't a tacked-on sub-plot or sob story; her condition plays into some of the scares. In one scene, she uses the automatic moving chair thing on the staircase to get away from the demon that's coming closer to her. The chair makes it's way down, but stops and malfunctions half-way down. Then the chair starts to go back up, and the demon is waiting for her right at the top and there's nothing she can do about it. If she didn't have the condition, she could've just ran out of the house. But little touches like that can make for a richer story. It's also why the girls are surprised later when she can walk fine, because she's taken over. Another great scene was in the barn with one of the older girls, played by Grace Fulton, when the demon takes over a scarecrow and slowly unscrews the lightbulbs in fixtures to turn off the lights. I don't know why the demon would care about something trivial like light-fixtures, but I guess you could say because the demon is used to being shut-in the darkness, so whatever. It was a nice set-up.

And this re-telling leads me to one of the bigger pros and cons with the movie. Each of these scary sequences are great, well-done little pieces, but as a whole feature, doesn't really flow well. There isn't a lot of super big tension built up or a looming threat that lurks over the picture. In one scene, Wilson is terrified beyond belief as the doll and the demon have made their way into her room and the bed underneath her bunk-bed. But then, the scene ends, she falls asleep, and it's the next day. Next we see her, she's happily playing with the other girls. Are we not going to talk about what just happened there? And that's my only big problem with this. David F. Sandberg started out doing short horror movies and that seems to be his expertise. These are great little scenes, but don't complement one another always in the larger scope of it all. However, the movie does get really good towards the end, when the demon goes all out on the girls. It was nice to see something quite grand and on an ambitious scale. A lot of times with these movies, the finale is just a small group of people trying to get out of a house and there's a couple jumpscares there and here. But Sandberg decides to throw in everything he can. The demon teleports all over the place and gets at the different separated groups of kids. Scarecrow in the barn? Check. Creepy adventures in the basement? Check. Car won't start? Check. Hiding in the doll room? Check. I know all that sounds very cliche, but it's done rather unique, as it's not the same person who experiences all of it.

But I think I've rambled on long enough. It's a little funny seeing how these origin prequel horror movies end up being better than the originals they're based off of. Now people are going to go watch the first Annabelle and remember just how fucking terrible it is. But I am a little worried about the state of horror movies. I liked this, it was good, I had fun watching it, but I want to see more come out of this genre. I don't really want to see the same plot threads being copied over and over. If you just want to see a fun horror movie to share with friends or family, you'll definitely get a kick out of this, I recommend it. However, as massive fan of this genre, I want more.

Okay, here's a question to my followers. How do I rate a movie that's so shitty, it's enjoyable? Like, I had fun watching this, but I understood it's schlock. Once I get some comments, I'll lower or keep this score.

I never, ever thought I'd be here saying this, but I actually had a little fun watching Geostorm. Yeah, like, no shit. This was more fun than Independence Day: Resurgence and San Andreas, the last two big disaster movies to come out. I think what Dean Devlin understood over the last two attempts was to just have fun with the project. It's like he knew what he was doing was making shit, but said, "Fuck, just go all out with it." The disaster scenes are upped a few notches, they're crazy, loud, extreme, and laughably put together. This movie's all over the place for me. I'm not sure how to feel. Some parts of this movie are just straight-up bad, like not thought out well, yet some other parts I thought were competently done and nicely written, and other parts are so-bad-it's-funny. The movie's everywhere in terms of my enjoyment. I think there's actually some decent writing here and there, leagues above Independence Day: Resurgence, and other parts where the dialogue is laughably bad. I don't know if Devlin did this on purpose, but it's very interesting to say the least. The story is not original at all, it's borrowed heavily from previous disaster movies, even ones not produced by Roland Emmerich, but for some reason, I didn't mind most of the time. Maybe it was the character writing or order of sequences, but I didn't really get annoyed or frustrated with seeing the same plot again. There was some kind of flavor this time around I was actually getting into. It's not great writing, like I've said, but I didn't hate watching it. There's even a couple genuinely humorous moments, that actually landed, which shocked me. But more often than not, the movie serves as a shit fest that's fun. And I love that stuff. If you've followed me for some time, you know I enjoy shit that's fun. And that's what this is. It's popcorn entertainment and that's what Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin do best. Even Godzilla (1998) I didn't hate because it's enjoyable, though I know it's a crappy movie. There's been a couple movies like that this year, that I think are crappy movies, but fun, like The Great Wall and Kong: Skull Island. However, those have at least artistic merit to them, standing as solid movies, even if they're mindless popcorn flicks. We're at an age where it's really hard to rate movies, at least for me. How do you rate something of this nature? And what counts as so-bad-it's-fun and actually good? Kong: Skull Island I think is a well-enough written movie and competently directed movie that gets it well above shit-but-fun-tier, so that's not on the same level as Geostorm, even though both are just popcorn flicks. Geostorm is enjoyable because of it's shitty quality, so I think that's where we need to make the distinction here. This is getting really fucking confusing for me now, but I love this discussion. It just goes to show judging movies are not all about the rating, but the discussion. This is such a weird movie for me. I need to let it sit with me for a little longer, and I might update this post.

Goddamn, this movie has no right to be as boring as it is and also have a budget of 50 million dollars. There's a few nuggets of gold, some good and even great scenes here and there with combination of score and decent cinematography; but overall, I kept checking the time like every 10 minutes. Whenever I watch a movie, and I'm constantly waiting for the movie to just end, or I'm checking the time in boredom, the movie automatically gets a below average rating. The number one goal of any filmmaker should be to keep the audience interested. I was not interested throughout the majority of this. Nothing gripped me. There was no tension. The style just didn't lend itself to this kind of story. I don't know who looked at this final product and decided it would work in appealing to a mainstream audience. It's slothy with poor pacing, mediocre acting, half-decent music, amateurish camera work, and only a couple good scene set-ups. I can now say with full confidence I think Daisy Ridley is a bad actress...

I really don't know what else to say. Just don't bother with it. I'm going to go watch the original by Sidney Lumet now. Should be way more interesting and worthwhile. I need to get into the habit of just walking out of movies I don't like. I've never done it, but I need to start doing it.

This whole movie, I couldn't stop thinking about Shinji and Kaworu's sub-plot from Evangelion 3.33. There is no point to this movie. It is the most boring film involving an on-screen romance I've ever seen, and I've watched all of Fifty Shades Of Grey. While Shades is bad, it has greater production design, has a form of cohesive story-line, no matter how laughable, has a memorable soundtrack, and is actually enjoyable, in an ironic sense.. Call Me by Your Name wishes it could be this important coming of age bisexual story it props to be up from it's aesthetic and Oscar-bait attire, but all we're left with in the meat are pointless everyday scenes and sub-plots that go nowhere, characters given zero depth or personality, yes, including the two leads, locations so bland and in-effective in expanding the story's world, that scenes could be taking place anywhere, and cinematography that feels very amateurish at times. I started counting the number of times the camera forgot to put the characters in-focus after someone moves to another position on-screen. The blocking and placement of the actors is televisual and bland, there is not a single shot that sticks out to me. Sitting at a table, laying in bed, bicycling, and etc. The only shot that sticks out is the final one as the credits play, but that's only because it's held on for so long.

I'm actually having trouble finding stuff to write. The two stars give it their all, desperately scrounging up an ensemble performance that appears emotionally stirring, and I applaud their efforts. But this just does nothing for me. It's so inconsequential and pointless. There are far better gay movies out there. If that's the reason you guys are all giving this movie high scores, then I'm sorry, you're missing out on movies more worth your time. Go watch Strawberry and Chocolate, a much more entertaining and fulfilling little story. I think I'm done with gay movies. I've seen a lot in the past year and they've mostly just felt the same. This genre is really limited. I'm telling you this because I wanted you to know. Call me by your name and I'll call you by mine. Okay, I'll stop quoting obvious lines. By the way, there's a scene in the movie where he fucks an apricot. Symbolism? Maybe. Hilarious? Yes.