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Private Notes
When a doctor diagnoses Lauren with depression, the teenager sees a golden opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Meanwhile, Brian is desperate to figure out a way to stop his parents from going on college tours with him just to check out the local bars.
When a lesbian couple moves in next door, Bill and Judy are shameless in their quest to get approval to build the deck of their dreams. But when they fail to make nice with the couple, they decide to use Lauren to score points and convince her to go out with the neighbors' nerdy son, Chris. However, their plan backfires when Lauren actually falls for Chris, but his mothers think that Lauren's a bad influence.
When her cat dies, Linda starts treating her latest loser boyfriend more like a feline than a man. Meanwhile, Bill and Judy can't help but make fun of the strange circumstances of the cat's death.
Bill gets caught up in a fantasy card game in which players pretend to be wizards and warlocks after he learns that Brian is a champion player. Meanwhile, Judy starts spending time with Fitz now that Linda is engaged and doesn't have much time for her.
When the Halversons belittle Bill and Judy's ability to contribute to the school's silent auction, the Millers retaliate by coming up with the hit item. Impressed with the Millers' generosity, the Halversons offer to help Bill and Judy run the event that they donated. But when the Halversons back out on them, Bill and Judy decide that revenge is in order.
When Judy discovers that Bill is an excellent cook, she welcomes his help with the meals. But when he gets fussy about the cooking, Judy begins to think that maybe she preferred it when Bill spent all his time on the couch.
When Bill gets a clean bill of health and Judy is advised that her cholesterol is through the roof, Judy writes a beautiful letter to Bill conveying things he should know when she passes on. She begs him to do the same, but Bill finds that he needs someone else to inspire him. Meanwhile, Linda borrows Tina in an effort to help her fiancé, Perry, become more comfortable with children.
Judy is tricked into doing more group activities than she planned when she tries to improve her relationship with her mother-in-law against Bill's advice. Judy is thrilled when Louise invites her on a cruise only to discover, to Bill's delight, that her sneaky mother-in-law has duped her. Now, Judy finds herself traveling with Louise's women's group, The Red Hat Society, which consists of women aged 50 and above. Judy must somehow find a way to let Louise down without hurting her feelings.
Bill and Judy are elated when they discover that Brian actually has a girlfriend, but Bill is even prouder of his son for having a crush on his girlfriend's hot pal. Bill and Judy both have their own thoughts on how Brian should handle his love triangle. Judy wants her son to do the right thing, while Bill, speaking from experience, advises Brian to stay with his plain girlfriend in order to appear sensitive and score the hottie. Meanwhile, Tina retaliates against Linda for scaring her.
Judy asks Bill and Fitz to shoot Tina's ballet recital, but when Tina's teacher takes center stage in a sexy ballerina outfit, Bill can't take the camera off her. After Judy discovers what is on the tape, Bill puts the blame on Fitz in order to save his hide. When Fitz's wife discovers the same tape, Bill takes the blame for filming the attractive teacher. Caught up in a web of lies, Bill and Fitz do everything in their power to keep their wives from discovering the truth.
Bill is irate when he catches Lauren's boyfriend sneaking out of the house after midnight. Following the incident, Bill decides to bond with Chris in order to gain his respect and ensure that the young man is less likely to disrespect his daughter. When Chris reveals to Bill that Lauren is the one who wants things to move faster, the Millers make a valiant attempt to put their parenting skills to work.
On a father-daughter outing to the mall, Bill and Lauren agree to lie to Judy about spending quality time together, and then split up to do their own things. Meanwhile, Judy's decision to try on Linda's wedding dress turns out to be a very bad one.
Bill convinces Linda to take his advice instead of Judy's when he tells her to let her fiancé pursue his dream of making a music video even though he hasn't written the song yet. At first Judy enjoys the down time she has now that her sister is going to Bill for advice. But Judy finds herself with her hands full when Perry decides to postpone the nuptials and spend all the wedding money on the video. Meanwhile, Brian agrees to let Lauren give him a makeover in order to impress a girl, and ends up missing half an eyebrow.
After Bill and Judy catch Brian, Lauren and their friends drinking in the basement, they decide to set an example and abstain from drinking for an entire month. Unfortunately, Bill and Judy's infamously wild Super Bowl party takes place during that time. Brian and Lauren are impressed that their parents have gone alcohol-free for a solid three weeks. However, when Super Bowl Sunday dawns, the "holiday" may be too much for Bill and Judy to handle sober.
Bill and Judy come to Fitz's rescue by helping him adjust to his new life as a single man by joining him in his new bachelor pad and helping him pick up women at a bar by pretending that they are all swinging singles. Meanwhile, Linda agrees to watch their kids until she figures out that Bill and Judy's efforts to help Fitz may not be as altruistic as they appear.
Bill and Judy are so ecstatic to hear that Bill's mother, Louise, is going to marry her boyfriend that Judy agrees to be her maid of honor. However, the nuptials are put in jeopardy when Louise's ex-husband, Al, wants to stop the wedding and win Louise back. Meanwhile, Linda is disheartened when Perry continues to postpone their wedding due to his music career.
Brian helps a woman in need as part of his outreach project and Bill willingly lends a hand when he discovers that ""old"" Mrs. Grundy is a hottie. When Judy catches Brian and Bill staring at the beautiful Mrs. Grundy, Judy demands that Bill have a serious talk with Brian about not leering at women. Bill teaches his son a lesson, but it is not exactly the lesson Judy had in mind. Meanwhile, Linda contemplates Perry's request to spice up their sex life outside of the bedroom.
Brian is excited and filled with confidence when he receives instant messages from Lauren's hot tutor, Sarah, a smart college student. Bill encourages Brian to pursue her and ask her to the upcoming high school dance. However, just as Brian is about to make his move, his family once again manages to suck the joy out of the moment.
The guys down at the toilet store get a new boss "a young, brash, Harvard graduate" who develops a friendship with Brian. Bill shamelessly benefits from the situation until Judy steps in and leaves no question that she's still the boss. Meanwhile, Tina and her mysterious new friend frustrate Lauren.
When Bill and Judy discover that their pediatrician has the teddy bear that they used to hide their stash in, they must come up with a plan to get it back. When they find that the toy isn't in the donation bin at Dr. Bloom's office anymore, they go to his house where Lauren is babysitting his granddaughter, Ella. They discover that Ella is sound asleep holding it but as they prepare to get it away from her, Dr. Bloom returns home.
Judy tries to stand her ground when Bill's mother tries to hone in on her Mother's Day tradition with her own mom. Judy finally convinces Bill to take Louise wherever she wants to go while she, Helen and Lauren go to their traditional tea. But chaos ensues when they all convene at the same place.
Bill and Judy are initially happy that Linda and Perry are finally tying the knot, but when Roach, the eccentric minister and best man, shows up and the other wedding details are unveiled, Judy thinks her sister may be making a big mistake.
Bill gets jealous when Brian becomes excited about his upcoming trip to Europe for a summer exchange program. In an effort to create a bonding moment with his son before he departs, Bill plans a last minute camping trip. But when Brian arrives late to leave on the excursion, the two have a falling out. Bill, still determined to bond with Brian, makes one last attempt before his son boards the plane, with disastrous results.
