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Private Notes
Judy is holding a book club meeting at the house, but Bill's macho behavior, including screaming and dropping pizza on the floor, gets in the way of her book discussion. Bill eventually noses himself into the club and steals Judy's attention, making her jealous because she was supposed to be ""the smart one."" She tries to take his mind off of books with sex, but that doesn't work. At the next club meeting, they fight over who gets to discuss first and end up getting kicked out of it. Judy is disappointed, but soon regains her self esteem when she finds out Bill had their son read the book for him in exchange for cash.
Bill and Judy attend their twentieth high school reunion, and soon they begin acting like teenagers again. Bill meets his old hot dog eating competitor and challenges him to see who can eat more pancakes at the reunion breakfast, while Judy is shocked to see that the most popular girl at school has become a successful architect and has a ""perfect life."" In order to make Judy happy, Bill makes up a lie about the woman's husband having an affair, and Judy spreads it all around the reunion. Now Bill has to make an effort and correct the lie, but only makes it worse – as the rumor spreads, the guy goes from a cheater to gay man. Meanwhile, Linda scores a date with an ex-boyfriend, but she can't get over his disliking of The Beatles.
Lauren anxiously awaits a phone call from a boy, and in an effort to help her, Bill tells the boy that she likes him and he should call her. Lauren is humiliated, so Judy buys tickets to a Blink-182 concert for her and all her friends. The only rule is that Bill cannot talk to the kids when they go to the concert, but unfortunately he can't help himself. Lauren leaves the concert and goes to the car in embarrassment and Bill ends up giving her fifty dollars to come back. But as one embarrassment ends, another one begins when Judy flashes her breasts to the band.
Bill and Judy's behavior at Tina's recital shames them into volunteering at her school, which leads to disaster.
Brian joins the school football team, but quits because the other kids are picking on him. He decides to do cheer-leading instead, but Bill is unsure about Brian's decision. Judy tells Bill that they need to try to support him, whatever he does.
Bill befriends Linda's new boyfriend, Eric, but unfortunately, she walks in on him with another woman in the shower and dumps him. Bill's feeling lonely now that Judy told him he couldn't see Eric, but all it takes is one phone call for Bill to start sneaking around behind Judy's back to hang out with him. All is well until Eric says he can't go to a hockey game with Bill as promised and Bill later sees him on TV at the game. When Linda gets back together with him, Judy's surprised by Bill's negative reaction, which breaks down the whole chain of lies.
Annoyed with Linda's statement that her family doesn't spend any quality time together, Judy tries to gather everyone together for a family night playing games. Problem is no one is remotely interested, which frustrates Judy. She leaves the house, and in an effort to please his wife Bill decides to take the family to the planetarium. On their way out, Bill is reminded that the bowling team tryouts are tonight, and juggles between bowling with his family and bowling with his friends until Judy catches him. The only thing that keeps them from leaving is a lunatic family playing on the next alley that insists they're competing, which they weren't (until they decide to take on the challenge and lose).
Tensions run high in the Miller household as Judy's steadily bickering parents visit for Thanksgiving, and things only get worse when the couple announce they're extending their already unwelcome stay by a week. Linda, meanwhile, tackles cooking the traditional turkey dinner in hopes of winning some praise.
Judy takes Bill's advice to feign a shared interest with her boss to get a promotion. What she receives, though, are opera tickets for the same night as a big hockey game. Linda, meanwhile, happily volunteers to chaperone Lauren's sleepover party.
Bill loans a co-worker $300 to buy a big-screen TV without realizing the guy has a reputation for not repaying debts, which is worrisome considering Judy needs money to replace a broken hot-water heater.
Lauren is forbidden from attending her first school dance as a punishment for bullying, which Judy recalls falling victim to as a teen. Lauren, though, has evidence of a double standard after Bill lets it slip that Judy used to tease a girl by calling her ""Gina-so-smelly.""
Judy is tired of always playing bad cop and having Bill undermine her authority to the kids, so she decides to take a day off and let all hell break loose under Bill's supervision. When she realizes that Bill is actually capable to handle their kids and just isn't willing to do so, Judy decides to play good cop for good. Bill refuses to be the bad cop, because he's been the good cop since he was born. Both stubborn, they decide to stick to their roles until the first one caves in. Tina decides to get her bellybutton pierced and they agree on it. Brian wants to drive and Judy lets him. But later on she finds out Bill set her up and they both come back to their senses and put the house back together – but not right away. Let Brian be the bad cop for a while.
Bill feels inadequate in the company of Linda's physically fit boyfriend, so he attempts to prove his own athleticism by joining a beginner hockey league, but overexerts himself just trying to keep up with the other players. Meanwhile, Judy is pressured into joining a health club and taking spinning classes.
The humorous Valentine's Day card that Judy receives from Bill leaves her feeling as if the romance in their marriage is dead. To reignite the old spark, Judy shows up at Bill's job wearing nothing but a trench coat and high heels, but her surprising visit doesn't go exactly as planned. Elsewhere, Brian seeks his parents' advice when trying to impress a girl at school.
Bill has to crawl back into Judy's favor by apologizing to her hairdresser for calling him a rip-off artist.
Bill and Linda decide to help Lauren with her science project to show her that they care about what she's doing and end up making the science project for her. After they get an A, Lauren's teacher decides to move her to the advanced science class and Lauren is desperate. Linda and Bill promise to help, but Lauren ends up using them to do all her work while she goes to mall to date a boy. When her parents discover her lies, Lauren says she only got interested in science because the boy she's dating is a science geek.
After Linda meets a nice man and goes out with him hours after being dumped by another guy, Judy advises her not to go so fast. Linda and Judy have a fight, where Judy is blamed to always be nosing on her sister's life. Judy then decides to let her sister live her own life, and as a result she starts overcontrolling her children's lives with all the extra time she has in her hands. When they can't take it anymore, Bill decides to get the two back together and establish peace in the family.
Bill and Linda meet some Bill's old high school buddies, who since then has turned his life around. Bill says his wife changed him, which leads into an argument between him and Linda about how they changed each other. Bill decides to grow back his old mustache and smoke cigars, while Linda goes back to hanging out with her drunk friend from high school. After realizing that maybe changing does come for the better, they both go back to their usual selves.
As a favor to her beleaguered boss, Dr. Gerber, Judy offers temporary shelter for his prized pet pooch. Bill goes a step further, showing the dog and his lonely owner how to kick up their heels and have fun.
Bill proves himself too eager to please when his master-of-the-guilt-trip mother pays a surprise visit. That is, until Judy suggests he stop placating the woman and start ignoring her, a strategy that ends up backfiring on Bill when he hurts his mom's feelings and she runs away.
Bill doles out advice that lands him in hot water with wife Judy. Bill's misguided remarks are acted upon by 15-year-old Brian, who's upset because he didn't get invited to a fellow cheerleader's big kegger, although younger sis Lauren did. His story of woe prompts Bill to relate a tale from his own youth when he crashed a party and pretended to drink a lot of beer. Later, Bill and Judy cut short their fun at an AC/DC concert to make sure that Lauren hasn't disobeyed them by sneaking off to the bash.
