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Private Notes
Jess is more than ready to celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ but Siobhan, Katie, and Raph think it’s a little premature. We haven’t even eaten from a turkey’s carcass for Thanksgiving!
Katie’s meme went viral. And now that she’s in high demand from all the hollywood big wigs, she doesn’t have to talk to, acknowledge, even SHARE A ROOM with these LOSERS.
Make sure to thank black women for all that they do. Then, go get a cupcake! You’ve earned it!
Trapp, Katie, and Ally are ready to go see LEBRON JAMES, but Raph is too busy eating that normal meal that we all love, a large steak and three hardboiled eggs.
Raph misses the good old days, when Cyber Monday just meant spending your savings on a TV that’s 5 inches bigger than your current one.
The only thing worse than someone being 30 minutes late is any confrontation with anyone ever.
Now that Katie’s getting married, she just wants you to know that under NO circumstances is there to be even a HINT of a flirt thrown in her direction, you filthy DOGS
Supercalifragilisticexpialicollegedebt.
Gartholemew’s got that irresistible shmear of mystique.
Constant suffering is so much easier than remembering to find new pants.
Rekha and Grant are living in a fantasy world of new food choices, meanwhile Brennan hasn’t looked at a menu in 24 years.
Mmm… a pot of melted junior mints.
If I catch ANYONE even LIGHTLY teasing Brennan, I will flip out, because he has literally no resilience and folds like origami and I don’t think he can eat solid food?
This sketch was written by a robot, with the help of Botnik. By the way, writers, if you’re reading this, thank you so much, we’re not going to need you anymore. Best of luck! Call if you need a reference!
To watch a sketch is to insert yourself into the sketch. Comedy is a shell which we can choose to inhabit and vicariously experience the humor of laughing throughout.
Raph’s always upset that he’s not being told things everyone else around the office knows, like that he died 6 months ago in a laptop fire.
Real love is all about the romantic gestures he uses to manipulate and control you.
Raph gets frustrated when Submarine’s friend just can’t seem to get his name right!
I’d rattle some chains at you, but my usual chains broke, and my ghost blacksmith got sent to purgatory, so I need to find a new one, and I haven’t gotten around to it, y’know…
Unfortunately, IT refuses to do any work on any electronics Grant owns after the slime incident.
Trapp is saddled with a mystery of microbial proportions.
Which is more annoying: robocalls, or being kidnapped? Sound off in the comments!
Raph wishes his horny coworkers would finally make sense on this day, the holiest of the year.
Wow, did your parents even let you outside? I’ve seen parents like yours in movies.
Once you start hoarding emails, where does it stop?
It’s not beauty, it’s wellness.
Brennan’s sick, and the only cure is the approval of strangers.
Sure she’s competent, but could I grab a BEER with her?
When the TV remote goes missing, Raph can’t trust Grant - or his ass.
What do you expect? This guy went to acting school.
