Ragnar Danneskjöld

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The Satellite of Love
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Brothers

A thinly veiled docudrama based on the lives of radical black activist Angela Davis and Black Panther and prison inmate George Jackson. Bernie Casey plays the role of David Thomas, a man who was convicted for a crime he didn’t actively participate in. Vonetta McGee plays the role of the activist professor who takes up his case and looks to right a racial wrong. Ron O’Neal (Super Fly) has a powerful supporting role in the education of Thomas in the ways of life. The movie is a very slow burn with very little action but sends a powerful message in the finale. Overall, it gets a 6 out of 10.

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Chopping Mall

Less of a slasher flick and more like a Sci-Fi terror, Chopping Mall brings the future into the now. A shopping mall installs 3 track-driven robots to perform security once the facility closes down for the night. A group of teens decide to have an after hours party in the bedding store and that's when things go wrong. Lightning strikes the server unit on the roof and the Johnny Fives (Short Circuit) begin running amuck and killing anyone they can catch.

With a cast of names nobody will be able to pick out, except for legendary Dick Miller (Gremlins, The Terminator) and a couple of quick hit wonders Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet, Fast Times at Ridgemont High) and Mary Woronov (Deathrace 2000), terror runs rampant with actually some decent acting. Pure 80s cheese. It gets a 7 out of 10 for not taking itself too seriously and just bringing the fun.

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All the King's Men

Very loosely based on the life and times of Huey P. Long, considered by many to be the most corrupt politician in American history. Sean Penn gives a very energetic performance of Willie Stark, a “Hick” who stood up for all of the rest of the “Hicks” in the state against its powerful political machine. Penn channels Long’s style of oratory, including the physical exertion he put forth while talking, but the extent of actual corruption Long was involved in is very watered down.

The supporting cast is just as impressive. Jude Law, Anthony Hopkins, James Gandolfini, Mark Ruffalo, Kate Winslet and Patricia Clarkson lead the cast, but none of their performances are as good as Penn’s. Not as good as the original 1949 Oscar-Winning Best Picture, it still is worthy of a view. 7 out of 10.

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Mars Attacks!

Based on the Topps trading card property, the world gets visited - and invaded - by Martians. The cast is VERY impressive with Jack Nicholson playing dual roles along with Glenn Close, Tom Jones, Jim Brown, Martin Short, Danny DeVito, Michael J. Fox, Annette Bening, Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Rod Steiger and many many more. Plenty of action and comedy, along with a cheer out loud moment when the aliens blow up Congress. It gets an 8 out of 10.

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Super Fly

A Super Sex Machine is also a Super Fly Drug Dealer looking to get one big score and get out of the business forever. However, nobody else wants him to leave, including the cops that are making too much off of his payoffs. Ron O'Neal (Original Gangstas, The Final Countdown, A Force of One) plays Priest, the man looking to get out. The movie includes a super funky soundtrack but it drags in the middle of the film. It only gets a 6 out of 10.

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Stroker Ace

Hal Needham and Burt Reynolds team up again to bring you a high-speed comedy. Reynolds plays the part of an elite NASCAR driver who constantly is having issues on and off the track. Stroker loses his sponser and is forced to sign with Clyde Torkle (Ned Beatty) and drive his Chicken Pit Special. Unfortunately, Stroker did not read the contract before signing it and traps himself in a horrible 3-year contract. Now Stroker needs to find a way out by getting fired by Torkle, but he’s making so much money for the company that Torkle simply refused to lose his meal ticket.

Jim Nabors plays Stroker’s crew chief, Bubba Smith plays Torkle’s bodyguard and Loni Anderson plays the very attractive executive assistant that everyone is looking to bed. There are also plenty of cameos for actual NASCAR drivers who were on the circuit in the early 80s. Reynolds and Needham succeed once again and Stroker Ace gets a 7 out of 10.

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Blue Thunder

The government is designing a new crowd control special helicopter that can hear through walls, see in the dark, travel whisper quiet and carries an arsenal big enough to take out an entire city. Testing in Los Angeles before the upcoming Summer Games, the developers of the machine look to create enough havoc in the ghettos to have the people demand the 'copter be put into service. Frank Murphy (Roy Scheider) is chosen to be the test pilot. They had the ultimate weapon and the perfect plan but Murphy stole their Thunder! This film contains some of the wildest helicopter stunts ever put on film. Warren Oats, Candy Clark, Daniel Stern and Malcolm McDowell lead an all-star cast. An 8 out of 10.

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A Big Hand for the Little Lady

The biggest poker game in the territory is about to begin and the five richest men are rushing to be there. A traveling family, whose husband has a gambling problem (Henry Fonda), comes to town on the same day. Fonda talks his way into the game and puts up the entire family's savings in a single hand. The stress becomes too much for him and he suffers a heart attack mid-hand and his wife (Joanne Woodward) is forced to play the hand in his place. However, not everything is as it appears to be. Jason Robards, Kevin McCarthy, Burgess Meredith and Paul Ford are part of this excellent cast. An 8 out of 10.

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The Shootist

One of the final films done by John Wayne. Ironically the main character is dying from colon cancer while Wayne was dying from stomach cancer. The supporting cast is impressive with Lauren Bacall, Ron Howard, James Stewart, Richard Boone and Henry Morgan - along with many others - providing excellent performances. A dying shootist (gunfighter) has one last fight in him as he goes out guns a’blazing. An 8 out of 10

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The Boss' Wife

Starring a bunch of people whose names you won’t recognize…with Martin Mull and Christopher Plummer in supporting roles. This comedy(?) really scrapes the bottom of the barrel. Obviously intended as a break out production for most of the cast, it falls flat with little to offer for the viewer. It gets a 4 out of 10.

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Monarch: Legacy of Monsters
Stealth

Welcome to aerial warfare of the future. Code name “Tin Man,” this AI-run advanced warfare plane is being introduced into our military. Included in a 3-person flight team, Tin Man gets hit by lightning and begins to evolve, taking the war to the enemy against orders. It is up to his teammates to either bring him back or take him down. Jessica Biel, Josh Lucas, Jamie Foxx and Sam Shepard bring this Sci-fi action adventure to life. A 6 out of 10.

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Destroy All Monsters

In this 1968 Toho release, an alien race comes to Earth planning on enslaving the population. They take control of all of the Earth’s monsters and turn them into weapons against humanity, attacking all of the planet’s major cities. Eventually, they bring in their ultimate weapon - the space monster King Ghidorah - to finish off the planet. Godzilla leads an All-Star monster cast including Mothra, Rodan, Mantra, Baragon and more. Destroy All Monsters gets a 7 out of 10.

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The Great Debaters

1935 Marshall Texas. A small unknown all-black college debate team is led by a radical progressive professor (Denzel Washington) and transformed into a national powerhouse during the Great Depression. Eventually they are the first black team to openly debate completely white colleges cumulating with Harvard University. There is plenty of other era action happening in the background involving the struggle for civil rights. The movie gets a 7 out of 10.

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Hit Man

Based on the book Jack’s Return Home, this black version of Get Carter (1971, 2000) puts Bernie Casey in the lead role looking to find out what happened to cause the death of his brother. Bernie breaks heads of those interfering and breaks the hearts of the ladies. Not quite as good as the 2000 remake featuring Stallone, I found this version on par with the original starring Caine. The soundtrack is 100% funk and soul. It gets a 6.5 out of 10 stars.

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Angel and the Badman

John Wayne plays the part of Quirt Evans, a shootist and gun for hire. He is mortally wounded and is nursed back to health by a Quaker family. Because of their pacifistic beliefs, Quirt is forced to reexamine his life choices and philosophies as he falls in love with their young daughter. Intending to turn over a new leaf, Quirt has his new lifestyle repeatedly challenged by his past constantly raising its ugly head. A solid 7 out of 10.

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The Sons of Katie Elder

Four brothers are reunited together to mourn the passing of their mother. John Wayne and Dean Martin lead a western all-star cast, including George Kennedy as the hired gun brought in to specifically handle John Elder (Wayne), who is a famous gunfighter. When the brothers go to settle their mother’s estate, they discover that the family ranch has been “acquired” by a rival and their father had been gunned down without any investigation. Seeking justice, or revenge, the brothers begin a concerted effort to right wrongs done to their family.

The film has all of the standard western ingredients with very little new introduced to the formula. Nevertheless, Wayne and Martin bring a unique brotherly dimension to the film and everything just works well. Not as good as many other John Wayne westerns, it still fills out the requirements for a decent flick. It gets a 7 out of 10 stars.

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Unstoppable

Based on actual events, Tony Scott and Denzel Washington team up once again to bring this edge-of-your-seat action adventure to the big screen. Washington plays the role of an aging train engineer being forced out of his job by the company simply to cut payroll expenses. Chris Pine plays the young and upcoming conductor who is struggling to find himself. These two opposites are scheduled to work together the day that a runaway train occurs on their route. This train, traveling at 60+ MPH, contains 8 tanker cars carrying toxic chemicals and is endangering the town of Stanton, PA.

This movie proves that not all superheroes wear capes. It is a solid 8 out of 10.

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Steel

Lee Majors heads up this action drama as a ramrod hired on to top out a building before the bank forecloses and shuts down construction. The only problem is that he is asked to do the impossible and hang 9 floors in 3 weeks. To make this a reality, Majors recruits the wildest of the wild to work topside and brings together this volatile group of Alpha-males who really only barely get along. Fighting the bank, the unions, the weather and the scheming brother of the recently deceased construction boss who is looking to take over the project, Majors pushes his crew and the deadline to the breaking point to get the job done. The ending is not something to be missed. A 6 out of 10.

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The Omega Man

Written by Richard Matheson under the title I Am Legend, this was Hollywood’s second rendition of the story. It was more action-packed than the original 1964 The Last Man on Earth starring Vincent Price and really examined the factor of individual isolationism and the mental ravages it could cause.

Col. Robert Neville (Heston) was working on a medical cure against the biological weaponry of an unnamed enemy (presumably the USSR) when his chopper is brought down as he was attempting to begin distribution of the cure. Injecting himself, he becomes the only man immune from the germ warfare. Years later, he is self-tasked with cleaning out the remaining mutated individuals that did not immediately die as they attempt to kill him off; the last remaining individual of a dead age.

If you can look past the rough 1970s special effects, you get an enjoyable popcorn evening of late twentieth-century apocalyptical horror. 7 out of 10.

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One in the Chamber

A rather hum-drum action flick that matches up two hitmen against each other. Lundgren looks tired, seems to be sleepwalking through the movie and Gooding Jr. is less than convincing as an elite assassin or man of action. Mediocre at best, only a 5 outta 10 score.

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Avenging Angelo

Stallone plays a mafia bodyguard charged with protecting the mob boss’s daughter from assassination in retaliation for murders that the boss sanctioned. Stallone seems hamstrung and never really develops the character and Stowe plays a woman who goes from innocent bystander to Mafioso hard-case just too easily. This could have been much, much more with a different director (who never worked with Stallone again) or if Stallone had been given the reigns with the writing, production or direction. This only gets 6 out of 10 stars.

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Scenes of the Crime

Jeff Bridges plays a Mob Boss taken hostage for ransom which leaps off the rails almost immediately. With the brains behind the operation (Peter Greene) killed, now the driver (Jon Abrahams) - who has a Steve McQueen obsession - is forced to adapt on the fly while two crime families fight over an unpaid debt. Noah Wyle (E.R., The Librarian) plays Bridges’ personal bodyguard and shows a dimension of his acting ability not seen before. This “based on true events” story bombed at the box office but is definitely worth your time. An excellent edge of your seat drama with a few twists and turns built in. A solid 7 out of 10.

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HORROR COLLECTIONS, ANTHOLOGIES, SEQUALS. PREQUELS, REMAKES & SPIN-OFFS

It is Sequels...not sequals

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NCIS: 11x21 Alleged

Pay no attention to the cameo of the USS Enterprise (CVN 65). Only real sailors (or Trekkies) will know that's a West Coast Carrier and never has seen Norfolk Naval Station.

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Juwanna Mann

What was a joke in 2002 in now the reality of Women's Sports in 2024.

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Miami Vice

The sole problem I had with this movie is that it attempted to recreate the dynamic of the Crocket/Tubbs partnership. Yes, I realize Jamie Foxx was the hotter commodity for Hollywood when this movie was made, but it spat in the eye of the TV series it was created to emulate. The movie had the Flash, but it lacked the bang of the series. It drags down the middle and doesn't keep up the intensity of the series. Honestly, I felt as if the writers of this movie never watched the series and only were running on Youtube promo education videos to make the film. There was no 80s vibe at all. No excess neon. No excess blue/pink colors. Finally, there was no 80s style of dress. Too many grays and dark atmospheres. Even the cars were blandly colored. The movie lost that generational feel, while still asking for the Gen Xers to embrace the effort. Change the name of the title and you have another Hollywood loser. Sorry Colin Farrell, you are no Sonny Crocket and Jamie Foxx, you are also no Detective Tubbs.

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Service to Man
Next of Kin

Matching up the two groups in America you really don't want to cross: Appalachian Hillbillies and Italian Mafioso. They don't forgive, forget or forego any insult. This movie could have been developed into much more than it eventually became. A decent film that could have been more.

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Charlie Says
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