Narate
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Austin, Texas
35

Night Stalker: The Hunt For a Serial Killer

“You don't understand me. You are not expected to. You are not capable of it. I am beyond your experience.”

I wanted to know a little more about how he became the way he did, but I feel like the editing and narration was done really well in this documentary. The thought of someone having no fear walking into my place at night already scares me, but the Night Stalker was especially gruesome.

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The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

"That's the last goddamn hitchhiker I ever pick up."

This is one of the creepiest horror movies I have seen. You'd think after watching so many I would get used to gore but the way they film this really gives me the chills. It's pretty messed up and I think the low budget makes it feel even more real. I wish they had never made any sequels to keep it as a vintage horror phenomenon.

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Friends: The Reunion

James Corden: Matthew, who doesn't pick up?
Matthew Perry: I don't hear from anyone.

As a fan of the show, I wanted to love this so much, but I couldn't help but get sad. Why was this the first time they have set foot in the same room after all this time? I think Matthew Perry has gone through some hard times because he did not seem to be enjoying himself. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Reunion had me feeling nostalgic and happy, where as this one had me feeling nostalgic and sad. Also where is Paul Rudd??

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The Godfather

"It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."

There is a reason why this movie is so highly rated: It truly is a work of art. I consider this a cinematic masterpiece. Is it long? Yes. Is that necessary to fully tell this story? Absolutely. Everyone brings their A-game and that's what makes it feel so real. The score is beautifully done and made me want to open a bottle of wine to enjoy while watching this movie. I don't want this to be a spoiler review so I won't talk about character arcs, but the ones that do happen are so good. A must watch for any cinephile out there.

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Nobody

"Everybody dies... some sooner than others."

Watching Bob Odenkirk kill some bad guys and Christopher Lloyd use a shotgun was pretty fun. The plot could’ve used a little polishing but if you are wanting to see more John Wick style movies, look no further.

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The Land Before Time

“I'll be in your heart, Littlefoot. Let your heart guide you.”

This wrecked me as a kid. And because we had very few movies we owned, The Land Before Time got to wreck me on a monthly basis for a while. Years later, I finally checked out this short movie again, and it brought back emotions. I want to thank Don Bluth for shaping my childhood, and James Horner for the brilliant soundtrack. Adding one star because of the soundtrack.

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The Northman

"Remember for whom you shed your last teardrop."

For anyone going into this expecting a "Gladiator"... you will be surprised. This felt more like an actual tale than a regular film and it is beautiful. There are moments that were horrifying, moments that were heavy, and moments that were just straight up weird. And I loved them all.

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Underworld

"The sons of the Corvinus clan. One bitten by bat, one by wolf... one to walk the lonely road of mortality as a human. It's a riduculous legend, nothing more."

All I want in movies with werewolves is that they have good transformation scenes, and this has that. Selene is a strong character that shows how badass she is without really telling us (many movies these days struggle with that), and the director was definitely going for style in his shots and they look great. You know who also is great? Bill Nighy.

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Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

"Our media is no more truthful than yours, American."

I feel like this is the one that gave life back to the series, and man did it do it well. Brad Bird killed it with this live action debut and I absolutely love that they didn't forget to have some fun with this one.

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The Goonies

"Goonies never say die!"

I always wanted to be part of the Goonies as a kid. The movie is silly, fun, adventurous and most of all, you have to have a good imagination. You got booby traps, pirates, thieves, rascals, romance... everything a kid adventure movie should have.

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No Time to Die

"You have all the time in the world."

I am glad that Daniel Craig is ending his run as James Bond with this movie instead of Spectre. There were many moments that tie the other movies with this one and the first half is filled with good action sequences, and the cinematography was beautiful. Rami did well with what he had, but will not be a memorable villain for me.

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Shallow Hal

"Inner beauty's the easiest thing in the world to see when you're looking for it... The brain sees what the heart wants it to feel."

There is no way this movie gets made today, but I am glad it did get made. because there is an actual good message here. Jack Black is actually a very likeable character and the ending makes the rest of it better. Also, I never realized this was a Farrelly brothers film, but that defintely makes sense.

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Saw V

“Killing is distasteful... to me."

Ok these flashbacks are getting a little out of hand. It was a little cool at first but by the 5th film I got tired of it.

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Free Guy

"Catchphrase!"

I went in thinking it was going to be a fun and dumb movie with videogame references. To my surprise there was actually a story here and I quite enjoyed the progression of the characters, and had some great laughing moments. No need to make a sequel, let's leave this little gem as is.

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Rat Race

"Dad, I'm prairie dogging it!"

This used to crack me up as a kid! I see a lot of hate on this movie in general but it is a silly comedy that you shouldn't think too hard about. Plus a Smash Mouth cameo is always great.

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I Care a Lot

"I'm the worst mistake you'll ever make!"

Somehow Netflix is able to get a great cast, make sure the film’s cinematography look good, and yet, have a plot that falls flat. By "falls flat" I mean the main character is so unlikeable and infuriating, and while that is what they were probably going for, the pay off is not satisfying at all.

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The Vault

"It’s simple."

Heist movie? Count me in. Happens during the World Cup? Yes. Hearing Freddie Highmore speak with his British accent? Gimme. The movie itself: I guess it is alright. They could’ve explained a few things a little better, but I love seeing bad people get ripped off. Also... Famke Janssen... what happened?

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The Replacements

"Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever."

This is a predictable and cheesy sports movie... so why did I enjoy it? I guess because it is similar to The Longest Yard, and Keanu Reeves is so likable. I was surprised this was his first movie as a lead after The Matrix, and due to recent events with the Washington Redskins I knew it was a good time to watch this.

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Green Room

"Now Gentlemen and Ladies. Whatever you saw or did... Is no longer my concern. But let's be clear... this won't end well."

This movie kept me in a state of unease and suspense the whole time. I used to play in a punk band so a lot of the band side seemed familiar and having to find last minute gigs is not fun, but sometimes you have to play in shady areas. The things that this band has to go through by playing in a neo-Nazi club... unsettling. Also, who knew Patrick Stewart had a dark, scary side to him.

Great film.

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Dumb Money

Roaring Kitty here. I’m going to pick a stock and talk about why I think it’s interesting. And that stock is GameStop.

I remember following this in real life and thinking it was so crazy but I wasn't sure how it all began. Dumb Money tells a funny story about how it all went down but I wouldn't say it is as jaw dropping as something like The Big Short.

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The Five-Year Engagement

"Seeing you chop onions is depressing. It's like watching Michael Jordan take a shit."

While this has some pretty funny scenes, overall it just depressed the hell out of us. A couple of things to note: chubby Chris Pratt is best Christ Pratt and this movie is way too long.

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The Batman

"It can be cruel, poetic or blind. But when its denied, it's your violence you may find."

This is the Batman I have been waiting for. I am so happy Matt Reeves is getting his chance to do a trilogy because this is what this character was needing. They are putting "Detective Comics" back into Batman. Paul Dano is incredible, and Gotham is so gritty and dirty, yet cinematic. It felt a little long and yes, the third act isn't perfect, but this film was a much needed direction change. Shout out to the incredible sound design team and the strong soundtrack.

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No Exit

"Everybody's got a tell. Trick is, play the man, not the hand."

I am happy others enjoyed this movie. The thing is, if you read the book you will know that this movie is just a hollow shell of the book. Usually movies change a few things where this one is completely different. As far as entertainment goes, it feels on par with streaming movies.

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Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

"I should have crushed you under my heel the day you were born."

Not sure if we needed this one. It was cool to see as a beginning to Underworld but due to the first movie we already knew what was going to happen. I will say though, Michael Sheen looks even better here than he did before and Bill Nighy is always a treasure.

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D-Tox

"Booze is a slow burn, but it's suicide all the same."

From the director of I Know What You Did Last Summer, I present to you D-Tox, a movie that looked at The Thing and Se7en and wanted to so badly be like it but falls flat. The location and premise could've been good but I got bored pretty quick.

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The Florida Project

"I can always tell when adults are about to cry."

This is a lot slower and more raw than I expected it to be. A good look at poverty and childhood and while it’s sad, it is beautifully shot. Finding out that the kids’ dialogue was mostly improvised shows how good they are, and William Dafoe is excellent in it as well. Definitely recommend this.

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V/H/S

"I like you."

10th Anniversary

If I were rating this just on the segment "Amateur Night," I would rate this a 6-7. It was really well done and got me pretty spooked and I was curious to see more. On the other hand, the other segments were a snoozefest. Also how did all those tapes arrive in one place? I need to know!

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Better Luck Tomorrow

"People like you and me, we don't have to play by the rules, we can make our own."

I was watching this because of the 20th anniversary of its release and now I see from comments that it is retroactively connected to the Fast and Furious. That is pretty hilarious considering this movie is way different but now that I think about it, Han is pretty much the same cool guy in this.

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The Last Duel

"The truth does not matter."

I was not expecting the fight scenes to be so good but Ridley Scott knows how to visually captivate an audience. The way they went about telling the story caught me off guard and it was very interesting to see different points of view. Everyone was great but Jodie Comer is the standout here. I will always be greatful for being alive now and not then.

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Cruella

"Wreaking havoc at galas is my personal specialty."

I go back and forth on the “why do we need a backstory for a classic villain” train. There are plenty of aspects that I like in this (Both Emmas did well as usual), but it does feel a bit long and could’ve tweaked a few plot points.

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