To be fair, “gimme some sugar” has very different connotations in my head, so no - I would not take Don up on that offer.
The only reason I'm rating this a four is because Inhumans was so bad, and I suffered through with a fake smile on my face through that one.
The CGI is embarrassingly bad, and I don't care if the Corridor Crew thinks it's good. Jennifer does not look real, nor does the Hulk. They look like a really well animated cutscene from the early to mid 2010s. Her hair in particular moves very strangely, and I feel like I'm watching a bizarre live action version of Fiona run around for most of the first episode.
Furthermore, the company has ruined Hulk as a character. Although I was never really fond of Bruce Banner OR Mark Ruffalo for that matter, this show has made him so much worse.
As for the fight towards the end, the editing is sloppy and amateur at best. This episode is embarrassing. Not quite as bad as I thought it would be, but the only reason this is being defended is because Marvel fans will literally defend anything at this point, especially if the company positions it as representation.
I think I'll just go back to Princess Leia, Wonder Woman, and Wanda.
Heck, no. Not Nick the ice artist being way better if a pick than the actual bachelor.
There are a few interesting ideas and shots, and the chemistry is nice, but the plot is predictable and at some points laughable. With a better soundtrack, more implication, a shorter runtime, and more joy and conflict between the families, this could be much better film than it is.
Encanto is an incredibly overrated movie. Why this has such a huge fanbase, I will never know. That being said, it's still a good film.
I just never want to hear about Bruno ever again thanks to the fanbase.
This movie is a mess. It's a pretty mess, but still a mess. Far too many plotlines are completely dropped for an unrealistic one, and it never really explores or explains the virtual world it presents. There are tons of ideas, but they are all hindered by poor execution. Character motives don't make a lot of sense, the world seems empty despite there being over five billion people registered into the app, the laws of the app are broken and the writers don't seem to understand how apps work, and it all just kind of falls apart once you think about it too much.
I'd go into specifics but it isn't worth it. Even as someone who usually doesn't notice plotholes, this one is legitimately full of them, and to go over them all would take tons of time and effort this movie doesn't deserve.
It's just mediocre thanks to some awesome visuals, some creative ideas, and a nice enough soundtrack.
This episode borders on a 5. It's corny, rushed, stupid, the concepts are all introduced through dialogue, this is all happening way too early in the series, and there's very little chemistry. Worst of all, it isn't fun - something the first couple episodes were.
Also - what the heck is up with Angel? I'm sure this gets better later on down the road, but I'm laughing. I get that I'm not the target audience, but like I said - the first couple episodes were fun. Then they had the mantis episode and the hyena episode and now...this. I prefer this to the other two episodes I disliked, but still. Garbage.
Far superior to the 2016 abomination.
It surprisingly lacks a lot of the humor of the original. Although the film is overall well done and enjoyable, it's more of a quirky, surprisingly frightening take on the Ghostbusters franchise, and while it can still be fun and goofy in certain places, the script plays if straight for the most part, respecting the scarier elements of the original.
There's a few timing issues, as well as a severe lack of Paul Rudd. Despite being marketed as a Paul Rudd movie, his character Gary doesn't get as much attention as the kids do. The mother is slightly unlikable and there are some missed opportunities when it comes to interacting with ghosts, and yet the movie likely would have been longer had they gone ahead and done so.
This is really a movie about the young female lead, Phoebe, which was surprising, though not in a bad way. Podcast is the real breakout star, though. He's fantastic.
At the end of the day, they did a good job on this one and I'm pleasantly surprised.
Easily one of the best movies I've seen this year.
I found myself on the edge of my seat, nearly in tears because of how stressful the movie turned out to be. It made me care about an objectively awful character, and I knew where things were going, yet didn't want them to happen.
It's a shame it went up against Spider-Man. People have no idea what they missed out on. Having seen both, "Nightmare Alley" is the better movie, but fewer people are going to see it. That's probably a good thing in that I wouldn't recommend this to most of my friends. That being said, for those who are okay with graphic violence and dark material, there's a lot to sink into here.
Surprisingly cute, sweet, and all around entertaining, Noelle is a well casted, surprisingly well written Christmas comedy in the same vein as Elf. It is one of the few G-rated movies to come out in recent years and is completely devoid of any and all content issues, making it a great choice for families during the Christmas season. Despite being definitely oriented at kids, Noelle's humor manages to elevate the movie significantly, even when questionably shoddy CGI and its predictable plot threaten to lower its quality.
Expertly casted and refreshingly earnest, Noelle more than earns its stay among other modern Christmas classics, and I personally hope it receives more attention in the years to come.
Home Sweet Home Alone is the sixth film in the disgraced Home Alone franchise. If the cover isn't enough to tell you not to watch this movie, than this review is. Because let's face it - you predicted this.
There is nothing sweet about Home Sweet Home Alone. It is a dreary, ugly, criminally unfunny trudge through a tired, worn out franchise, having long lost the charm and heart that made the original film so special. Gone is the adorable Macaulay Culkin and the wholesome beauty of the original. Gone also is the creativity and imagination of the original traps. What we have instead is a pair of poor parents trying to reclaim a doll that is rightfully theirs from an insufferably spoiled brat on Christmas Eve in order to save their house from being sold before the New Year. That's right - the kid is the villain in this situation. And boy, is he hateable.
The key element that is missing from this film is a heart. Whereas the original had an underlying message about valuing your family despite their flaws and extending love towards them while you still have them around, this new film completely and utterly lacks any of those sentiments, instead replacing it with a borderline cruel sense of "humor." The term humor feels almost inappropriate, however, as this movie is one of the most joyless productions I have ever laid eyes on.
Ultimately, there are two funny jokes during this dumpster fire of a film - a running gag involving the burglars having too many cartons of milk in their fridge, and a moment of self awareness from the burglar's obnoxious (cousin?) who loudly declares that Hollywood needs to stop remaking the old classics.
I, for one, agree.
And yet, it's not unbearably bad, nor is it good. Instead, it exists as a hollow cash grab written by people without a single funny bone in their entire body. Forced, ugly, and frustratingly mediocre, this is a Christmas film you should probably skip. Just go watch something like "Frozen" or "Noelle," or even better - just watch the original.
John Carter is a movie. It's not a great movie, but it's a decent movie. I could go on a long rant about why this movie isn't that good of a movie, but it was entertaining for most of its duration and even though I feel like there was simply too much there for me to process, I really appreciated the soundtrack and the set design.
That being said, the Princess is lackluster. In the original novel she was a damsel in distress according to the internet, so it seems as though she was updated to fit a modern audience. Unfortunately, she comes off very cold and then suddenly warm as the movie tries to force chemistry between the main characters. There isn't a lot to work with and John as a character is more interesting in the beginning of the film than he is by the end.
In the end, this is a mediocre if not enjoyable CGI fest with a lot of history and unfortunate marketing behind it. Ironically, I find the botched marketing of the film more interesting than the film itself - its publicity was basically eclipsed by Disney's acquisition of Star Wars and it's terrible name change left little for ignorant movie goers to guess about concerning the film's plot. It originally was called Princess of Mars like the 1917 book it was based on, but someone in an office decided that "John Carter" would be good enough for most people. It's a fascinating, baffling mess I need to continue to look into.
This film is essentially the Brendon Frasier Mummy franchise transplanted into the Amazon rainforest but with a healing blossom instead of a deadly curse as the main characters' motivation. The character dynamic is exactly the same in the main group - a buff man has to deliver a scholarly, dedicated, and capable woman to an ancient forgotten temple alongside her idiot, comic relief brother. Nevertheless, for whatever it lacks in originality, it makes up for in fun.
Emily Blunt and Dwayne Johnson make a fun duo and even Lily's idiot brother McGregor grows on you by the end of the film. Although there isn't much as far as character development and the CGI ranges from unbelievable to downright silly, the film does successfully deliver on its promise for a swashbuckling adventure, giving it around a solid 7.0 in my book.
The film does contain a slightly obnoxious amount of feminism, as well as a hilariously portrayed gay character. As said before however, the sheer enjoyment of watching Jungle Cruise makes up for all of its faults.
Once upon a time, I took my younger siblings to a movie for $24 and almost fell asleep watching it. That movie was Joss Whedon's original cut of the 2017 superhero film, Justice League. Justice League sucked - it was too short yet simultaneously too long, the characters were unlikable and not properly introduced, the scenery looked incredibly fake, the fight sequences were dull, and even Wonder Woman was done dirty by the film's insistence on being laughably mediocre in nature.
Thank goodness that is not this movie.
The Snyder Cut, a version of the film that has been rumored about and speculated on since the first movie's initial release in 2017, is nothing short of a masterpiece when compared to its pathetic first attempt. Whereas Justice League took two hours to accomplish absolutely nothing in terms of character development and likability, Zack Snyder's sprawling four hour remake is actually worth your time, boasting an epic story packed to the brim with likable characters, intense character motivations, fantastic fight scenes, and high-stake conflicts.
The only complaints I have with this movie is that it has already been deemed to not be part of the DC canon and that Lois Lane is given too much screen time. While the film does drag a little in certain parts, it feels like a two hour movie whereas the Whedon cut felt like an eternity. The film sets itself up for a fantastic looking sequel, but because the people in charge of Warner Brothers are stupid, we will never get that sequel, despite the fact that this movie essentially salvages the entire DC Extended Universe. Amber Heard is also in this movie for some reason, which is beyond me. #JusticeforJohnnyDepp.
In short, this movie earns the right to exist through its epic treatment of its characters, its excellent reworking of its originally weak villain, and its salvaging of the colossally panned "Batfleck" iteration of Batman. The Flash is actually likable and serves a purpose in this movie, as does Cyborg, who was criminally underused in the first film. Aquaman is far less of a knockoff of Thor, Wonder Woman is given a role in which she is not objectified by the camera and by her team mates, and the cringe inducing humor of Whedon's version has been erased, and much for the better.
While not necessarily heavy as far as content goes, there is plenty of violence and cursing to go around, earning its R rating. It isn't the worst Christmas movie I've ever seen, and yet it's nowhere near "great", partially due to the lack of chemistry between the characters as well as the lack of self awareness the movie possesses - it plays its gimmick far too straight, saving what little combat there is for the last half an hour of the movie.
In essence, the idea is here, but the execution is worse than bad - it's uninteresting. Mel gives a great performance as "Chris" Kringle, but aside from that, this movie is a bust with no underlying theme or satisfying conclusion. It's, to put it bluntly, a waste of time.
Also, there's an off-screen Santa sex scene with him and his wife that I didn't want to think about.
This was undeniably entertaining, just like the one reviewer on Rotten Tomatoes said. I watched it for Jake Lloyd, who I grew up idolizing as Anakin Skywalker. This might have worked on me as a kid, and as a film buff, it worked until the third act where the action decided to become so dumb, it shattered any and all sense of disbelief. It ended up feeling like one of those "that totally happened" Reddit posts rather than a cute Christmas movie.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting is awful, and yet his presence sells this movie. I didn't mind Sinbad at first, but by the end of the third act, I couldn't stand him. I was able to predict parts of the plot, and the wannabe screenwriter in me was already rewriting some of those scenes in my head. Did they have a script editor?
Overall, the first two acts are a 6/10. The last act is a 4/10 jumbled mess with no heartwarming payoff. There are so many easy places for this story to go and it chose something I didn't expect but was instead rushed, stupid, and eye-roll inducing.
I think I'll just go watch Home Alone again. Then again - I'm just an adult making use of my Disney+ subscription.
"Venom: Let There Be Carnage" has got to be one of the worst superhero movies I have ever seen, especially from Sony. It exists solely to capitalize off of Tom Hardy's buddy cop romantic chemistry with Venom, and yet this time around, it's no longer funny - it's just gross. Venom is incredibly abusive to Eddie simply for trying to keep him from murdering whoever he wants, and the film expects us to accept that Venom is somehow in the right.
Furthermore, the script is an atrocity, filled with terrible one-liners and terrible pacing. Nothing in this movie feels authentic. Even Michelle Williams is put to shame during this film. The acting is horrendous because the script gives them nothing to work with. The cinematography is also terrible - It has some interesting ideas and settings, and yet it's always zoomed in on the characters' faces, preventing us from witnessing the cool scenery.
But hey, at least the final fight is better than the first movie's.
Utter trash; could have been written by a fifth grader.
This ironic thing about this film is that it is about how a one dimensional background character develops into a real person, yet almost no character development takes place during the film - all of his changes are external. Furthermore, his journey from loser to hero happens almost overnight, resulting in a bland CGI mess with a single beautiful shot about halfway through.
There is no chemistry, the characters are mediocre, and while it's charming in some ways, the villain alone is atrocious. Anyone who knows anything about video games can see how out of touch these writers are with reality, and although reality would make a boring movie, it's laughable how much is unrealistic.
That and Ryan Reynolds is playing himself. Again.
Despite being more of a stage play than a movie, this oddly titled film managed to capture my attention for its entire duration. It is a character study, mainly of Ginny, played by the incredibly talented Kate Winslet. Kate Winslet knocks this movie out of the park, and although she is a very unlikable character, her acting chops are on full display and her character's writing is complicated and morally grey. The film is really about her more than anything, and if it was a play, I have a feeling it would have been met with praise.
The colors and sets in this film are also something to behold - the cinematography is top notch and the color correction and lighting is on point.
Hauntingly beautiful yet terrifying to watch in a silent theater. If you don't know anything about this film, please go in blind like I did. You won't regret it!
A great film, even if you haven't seen the other movies! I had only seen Kong: Skull Island, so I really hope they make more of these. I'm sad I didn't go see King of Monsters!
As far as the people go - Team Kong is the better half of this movie. Team Godzilla is annoying, incompetent, and stupid. The best character is Nathan while the worst character is Madison. Whereas Alexander Skarsgard's character manages to become relatively likeable, Millie Bobbie Brown's character comes off as an arrogant, annoying, disobedient brat. I really liked everyone on Team Kong and really wanted to see more of them at the end of the movie. Team Godzilla? Not so much.
I did laugh out loud at the fact that they literally dug a hole to China though. The "Mecha Godzilla" line is also really funny.
Overall, a great film! Not smart, but beyond my writing capabilities as far as its genre goes.
I remember when this episode came out and I really hope I still have the original VHS tape my parents taped this episode on downstairs. It's such a great episode and the music is especially on point this time around. Ahoska gets schooled, the sense of danger is high, and it's great to see all of the characters get their own moments to shine. An all around great episode!
One of the worst movies I have ever seen. Truly incoherent and downright surreal, as well as inconsistent. I have no idea who the target audience was.
I like that it's heading back to the sitcom format but I hate that it's beginning to explain things as well. It's only episode 5 and there are still 4 episodes to go. I don't want answers yet! That being said, this week's ending was a killer, though.
This episode was a let-down for me. I've been really digging the old school sitcom vibe and while I knew it had to end eventually, I'm sad that this wasn't reserved for the end of the series. Personally, I don't want all the answers - I love to theorize and to try and come up with what's going on, and this episode spoiled too many of the questions I had and confirmed too many of my suspicions. I really hope it goes back to the sitcom stuff next episode!
"American Beauty" is yet another film that is thought-provokingly well done and masterfully crafted, yet too blunt for its own good. This film would be nearly perfect if given a dose of healthy implication. Its best scenes are scenes in which subtly reigns and where things are shown without being shown. The nudity and overly foul and sexual language make it a weaker film in my humble opinion, and had the writer held back a bit, an equally chilling yet not so morally compromising film may have been created. In essence, it's a work of art - unfortunately, it's one that I simply cannot recommend due to the brief yet damningly objectionable moments scattered throughout.
Having never seen the anime, I went into this film with a completely open mind. Lupin III: The First is a serviceable, oftentimes fun ride with a bit of wasted potential. The opening is fantastic and is one of the best animated openings I've seen as far as style goes. The music is also fun and put smiles on my family's faces. As for the plot? It could be better. Exposition is this movie's greatest weakness, seconded by a lack of valid explanations, followed by an abundance of underdeveloped characters.
Nevertheless, this seems to be a huge step forward for 3D anime styled cartoons and I want to see more from this company. What is presented here, while not exactly clever, is pure, simple fun, even if it doesn't hold up to close scrutiny.
This movie is for very young children. If you go in with this expectation, you'll like it. However, for most viewers, it will come off as overly simplistic.
I'd like to preface this review by saying that I know this movie does not deserve a 2. In a world devoid of morals and of ethics regarding filmmaking and the making of art, I would give it a 10, but we live in a world where the mere existence of such an atrociously sinful film means that quite a bit of sin was committed during it's making.
While those who are not religious may strongly disagree with me and I too may look back on this review and wince, I simply do not believe that the message this movie sends was worth depicting brutal, sadistic, and graphic rape. I both am grateful and regret the fact that I have seen this film and I feel dirty having watched it and rightfully so.
Much of the material Kubrick presents on screen during this film amounts to little more than sadistic porn. Nudity is gratuitous and I violence is painted over with disturbingly artistic flair. What Kubrick misses the opportunity to do is to allow the audience's imagination to fill in the blanks instead of forcing people to carry out the acts on screen. The book this film is based on succeeds in that it is horrifying without needing people to act it out.
I realize that this is a terrible review, but for your sake and for the sake of others who will have to live with your mind after this film, urdge you to not watch this. They say it is a masterpiece and it is - but it is one that requires prolonged exposure to the worst of humanity in ways that are simply unjustifiable.
I cannot think of anything that would make this movie better. If you've read the source material, you know how much of an accomplishment that is. (The books are terrible.)
