Ch. Supt. Brownlow organises a tea dance for the Met Police Pensioners & Widows society. PCs Jarvis and Quinnan spend the afternoon dancing with admiring elderly ladies, WPC Polly Page is harrassed by a wheelchair-bound admirer, and PC Reg Hollis does a magic show. Brownlow is dreading the arrival of Geoffrey Allerton, an ex-copper who goes out of his way to complain about everything. When the minivan misses Allerton, Brownlow asks PC Tony Stamp to pick him up on the way to the bakery to pick up some cakes. When Stamp steps out of the bakery, he is horrified to find Brownlow's car has been stolen whilst Allerton was buying some tobacco. Packing Allerton and the cakes onto a bus, a desperate Stamp tries to retrieve Brownlow's car after it is impounded. When Allerton arrives at the dance at last, he causes a fuss when he recognises an armed blagger from a fifteen year old case at the wedding next door.
