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Private Notes
Richard is wearing his wedding suit, but has forgotten about the secret curse that it possesses that might destroy his esteemed standing in society, but the added jeopardy might help those with erotic expectations from their entertainment. We’re at the Old Market in Hove and the guest is nuclear-bunker obsessed Angela Barnes.
They discuss whether we are all just characters in a video game played by an increasingly bored teenager, the secret dangers of hot water bottles, the pranks played on Angela by her swinging father and how Richard could be sued by the people of Brighton for lip damage, why comedians can’t meditate and a Valentine’s Day gesture to rival a Ferrero Rocher pyramid. Plus Angela’s excellent work on the Home Safe Collective.
Back at the Old Market in Hove for a second (separate) week and Richard has more disappointing reviews of local tourist attractions, plus news of a life-changing bin-based compensation. His guest is a man who is more Brighton than a stick of rock, it’s Stephen Grant.
Stephen tells us how he came within a heartbeat of being in Top Gear and might also have been in The Office were it not for excellent advice from his (ex) manager. Also the pros and cons of being followed by a film crew during his first Edinburgh Fringe, the disappointment of not flying in an air ambulance and whether it’s more impressive to lose weight by accident or design. Some classic old Emergency Questions are pulled out of the bag and there’s a more serious discussion about whether comedians should write their own material. Another lovely tour podcast. Do check out the gig guide to see if the show is coming near to you.
There’s a weird giddy atmosphere in the room at the Leeds City Varieties, but you’ll have to try and use the clues in this podcast to piece together what you think might have happened, because this week the guests are the supremely polite and sensible Mark and Dominic (aka Marlon and Paddy from Emmerdale Farm).
They chat about how to not let fame go to your head, the snobbishness directed at soap actors, Mark being Richard’s number one celebrity fan, what Julia Mackenzie thought of Richard’s acting skills, Dominic’s other life as a film director and what the Attack of the Adult Babies is all about, Zombie nights, Who Wants to be a Millionaire and much much more. Remember if you want to see the podcasts uncut, even the ones that we’re not able to broadcast, you have to come and see us LIVE! The people of Leeds will never forget this night!
We’re on the road still and at the Lowry in Salford where the lightest local headline is not really ripe for frivolity, but at least they are paying fitting tribute to their greatest painter. And it’s possible that the theatre is literally on fire, but Richard is not letting that stop him.The guest tonight is showbiz legend and punster extraordinaire, Jimmy Cricket and something that the RHLSTP audience might not be used to, proper jokes.
But amongst the silliness, Jimmy reveals some fabulous stories about the days of the working men’s clubs, the summer camps or Ireland, Laurel and Hardy’s last tour, working with the Honey Monster, being a Papal Knight and why he still has the hunger for treading the boards in his wellies. There’s more, how his This is Your Life almost got derailed by a chance meeting and a letter from his Mamie. To buy Jimmy’s DVD or find out about his live dates or performances of his play check out his website - https://www.jimmycricket.co.uk/
It’s a heart-warming, corny and hilarious hour of chat. But will Rich ask clean-living Jimmy THAT emergency question?
After last week’s respectful chat with the great Jimmy Cricket, the gloves are off and it’s time to spew up a gut load of filth with third time RHLSTP (plus guest for three Edinburgh podcasts) Sarah Millican.
But who will win the battle this time? Rich goes into a bit too much detail about a bout of food poisoning that, to be fair, he isn’t entirely finished with. But if fire can’t stop him, then neither can the squits. There’s a lot about poo, vomit, sperm and pleasuring yourself to Henry Kelly and kittens (as you’d expect) but there’s also a chance to find out Sarah’s favourite cruciferous vegetable. Plus find out why the last chapter of her audio book might seem a bit faster than the others, Rich’s skill at taking off bras, the cruelty and redundancy of children and whether workaholism is a positive or negative force for comedy. Plus how Sarah’s dad used his engineering skills to try and solve a tricky conundrum.
We’re at the swanky King’s Place in King’s Cross (with a few teething troubles with the radio mics- sorry audiophiles) for the next few weeks and Rich is amazed at people reviewing the queue to Platform 9 and 3/4 at the nearby station, but his guest is the bachelor comedian (for the next 3 days) Russell Howard.
They discuss footballing comedians, how Rich might be Russell’s Willy Wonka, how Russell’s got his first willy wonka, the difficulty of playing yourself when surrounded by brilliant actors, the real story behind Richard’s dismissal from “Good News” (it might not have been the Haribo at all), giving proper credit to writers, what it’s like to perform at an arena (or be in the audience if you’re Richard), an unhappy year at Bedford Modern School, Richard’s mental health, how to hire Russell Howard for £12 and whether chairs made out of newspapers are a good idea.
Another week has gone by and we’re at King’s Place again and Rich congratulates Kings Cross on another record breaking success and meets his new upmarket audience. His guest is actor turned waiter turned writer turned stand-up Sara Barron.
They chat about life in New York and what you do when your toilet isn’t working, waiting on the famous, they weirdness of ex-partners still being in the picture when a new relationship blossoms, the wonders of Warsaw Indiana and Rich’s interaction with his wife’s uncle, whether it’s possible to have kids and lose weight and still be a good parent, where men are going wrong/right with lovemaking and how dated plays from schooldays have become.
Rich has come back from his holiday for this and why wouldn’t he? But will his guest turn up this time? The bad news, if he doesn’t, is that Nish Kumar is ill... there’s no jeopardy here, obviously he turns up or there’d be no podcast. The guest is the fantastic UFOologist Michael Sheen.
The pair discuss why the best bit has been missed out of the new War of the Worlds, how Michael would get inside Richard, finding out you’re not in a film when you get to the premiere, the big questions raised by the film Passengers and whether its worth having a robot with no downstairs, a missed Pointless opportunity and an audacious quiz show plan and what motivated Sheen’s decision to reconnect with his childhood home of Port Talbot. It’s funny, interesting with a strong homoerotic charge. Plus they talk about Tron. What more do you want?
Rich has a terrible confession to make about this podcast, which somehow shocks and appals his audience, but there will be plenty more appalling stuff to come as he introduces the diabetic comedian, Ed Gamble.
Giddy from hunger, tiredness and having to behave properly for last week’s podcast, Rich is the drunkest he’s been in 2019 (even though he still hasn’t drunk a drop) and the podcast spirals in some unexpected and bizarre directions involving dabbling with pubic management, which five diseases should be cured by the Disease Genie, double diabetes, Biblical analysis and the signs of mental breakdown. Rich fancies a sleep halfway through, but bravely mainly continues to talk and to be honest, has little to no memory of what happened in the last twenty minutes, so that can be as much a surprise to him as it is to you.
RHLSTP rolls into Warwick Arts Centre, but is it really in lovely Warwick or horrible Coventry? And should a city that keeps breaking Cathedrals be allowed another one? Richard’s guest this week has got to the venue despite being man-handled at Coventry railway station, it’s the charming and handsome Herring lookalike, Bobby Mair.
They discuss some of Canada’s issues with the English language, Hitler’s shoe size, William Shatner’s wilderness years, whether vegetarians can have pets, whether comedians should marry comedians, whether it’s worse to have a roast battle with your wife or your ex comedy partner, having two dead mums and opening for Jerry Sadowitz. Is “offensive” comedy doomed to disappear or is it possible to weather the Twitter storms.
RHLSTP is back at the Warwick (Coventry) Arts Centre and Richard is discussing his daughter’s reaction to the Teletubbies and his son following in his footsteps. His guest is actor and temporary expert on ugly pets, Caroline Quentin.
They discuss the most terrifying children’s TV characters, being sacked for failing to dress priests, the wonder of Bernie Clifton, the strong women in Men Behaving Badly, why Caroline stopped doing Jonathan Creek and whether she’d return, what Richard will be buying her for her imminent birthday, why she’s worried about Martin Clunes touching her breast and what it’s like to be haunted by a ham-eating ghost. Plus Caroline sings her 1990s top 30 single beautifully, whilst Richard sings the theme to Dream Stuffings less beautifully.
RHLSTP comes to the Marlowe Theatre in Canterbury, a town divided by what should happen to the local takeaway shop, but with an audience smart enough to get a Thomas a Beckett joke. The guest this week is sometimes known as dopey Barry from Eastenders, but is actually the quiz champion smartypants Shaun Williamson.
They discuss how Shaun went from boozy postman via incompetent Navy recruit to getting more people watching his wedding than a royal. Plus how Shaun failed to convince as a woman, what happened when Ricky Gervais made the call about Extras, hiding in a cupboard from Mike Reid, working with Al Murray and did he slip or was he pushed?. Find out which of Shaun and Richard is the best at Pointless and Prince Andrew gets a couple of mentions.
RHLSTP returns to the Marlowe Theatre I’m Canterbury for the second week running and Rich is doing some of his topical material about St Augustine. His guest is the artist and musician Jim Moir aka Vic Reeves.
They talk about the unique delights of being managed by Malcolm Hardee, how to improve the number 2 Ultravox hit, Vienna, how Morrissey turned nasty, how Vic unmasked Jack the Ripper, the ghost of Freddie Mercury, how only really good double acts have a psychic connection, the impoliteness of looking like you're going to die and then not dying and how an episode of Big Night Out is made in half an hour. Plus the importance of creating laughter in comedy, what Michael Collins saw on the dark side of the moon and the horrifying spectacle of the Top of the Pops audience.
