We meet Alasdair, the Croc Botherer, Roy of Roy's Toys and other characters in this opening episode.
Monkey Trousers mesmerises Star Search judges Louis Walsh and Foxy with his nonverbal Tourettism, and we're introduced to the marvel that is Bullwinkle face cream.
It seems like Whippet might take off from the Geordie Space Centre, until Brian's wife turns up.
The can't-be-God-bothered vicar has a tickle in his anus and the heroically loud cops argue over who could pull Copeland, a lucky female colleague.
Jimmy Savile destroys nosey Honker's only chance of happiness and Roy of Roy's Toys attempts unsuccessfully to flog a Harry Potter related Lego set.
The Whippet craft remains grounded at the Geordie Space Centre because Kev has taken his niece on board and we finally learn how Alasdair the no-nothing estate agent manages to keep his job at Woodmans Estates.