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Private Notes
Rose and most of the other Worksop girls are in love with smooth-talking Much, the Mini-Mart Manager's son, but the object of his affection, Marian, is unimpressed as he is using the villagers' fear of the Great Toad Monster of Stoke-on-Trent to frighten them into buying his tacky wares. When Robin, after his tap-dancing lesson, lets down his guard to reveal himself to the sheriff and Guy threatens to leave unless Robin is captured, Much seizes his opportunistic chance, selling the king a job lot of second hand weapons from the Albanian Ministry of Defence.
The merry men are having dance lessons and a dodgy fella called "Much" helps out Robin when he gets in trouble with the sheriffs. Much sells dodgy goods to the people of worksop and seems to have his eye on Marian. The merry men are worried when Marian ends up spending time with much as he seems to be manipulating him and Rose Scargill.
A rival gang arrives in Worksop, led by the Australian Beast of Bolsover and his nephew the Nuisance of Nuneaton. They refuse to leave unless they are paid twenty five gold pieces or someone defeats the Beast in a fight. The merry men capture the sheriff, who is suffering from amnesia, and when John refuses the ransom, Marian persuades the sheriff that he is one of her gang and gets him to fight the Beast.When Rabies accidentally knocks Robin's wardrobe out of a tree it falls on the sheriff,who remembers who he is as a result and arrests the Beast and his mob.
The first egg in two years is laid in Worksop.
Little Colin is stolen by the Sheriff, and it's up to the Merry Men to get her back. Guy of Gisborne, the King's Nephew, arrives.
Rabies falls in love with the strongest woman he's ever seen, and it's up to the Merry Men to ensure he gets his dream girl. Unfortunately, she's also the target of the Sheriff's scheme to get rid of King John's annoying nephew, Guy.
Marian is unsettled to see her sneaky ex-schoolmate 'Rotten' Rose Scargill cosying up to Robin and tells Rose the reality of their situation as outlaws. Rose then betrays both Marian and Robin to the sheriff and they are caught and imprisoned. From the window of the torture chamber Robin sees Marian appearing to be friendly with Guy. In fact Guy has a crush on her and is trying to force himself on her but Robin misunderstands the situation and believes Marian has betrayed him.
Due to be executed with Marian, Robin realises that she did not betray him when Rose reveals that she wants his body stuffed for her Robin Hood Museum. Fortunately the other merry men attack, under cover of the rubbish bins, and save Robin and Marian, who leaves Rose to the tender mercies of the lecherous Guy, tied up in the torture chamber. Robin is ashamed for what happened but Marian persuades him to stay with the merry men.
The sheriff has a giant jelly baby in the likeness of King John made to give him as a present but the merry men steal it. In order to cut his losses and find another gift for the king, the sheriff tells the villagers that it is the festival of Bloopie when they must give presents to Father Bloopie, alias King John. When he has them all in the castle the sheriff plans to keep them until he gets presents from them but they are rescued by the merry men, using the jelly baby as a battering ram before they eat it.
The sheriff needs money to bribe driving instructor Snooker to let John pass his driving test and sees his chance when Rose hi-jacks Marian's suggestion to hold a Eurovision-style song contest.
Panic ensues when a comet appears over Worksop, causing Snooker to fall off a ladder and get covered in glue and leaves and King John to fear an alien invasion. He determines to build an arsenal against it but steals all the villagers' clothes to sell in order to provide funds to build it.
Panic ensues when a comet appears over Worksop, causing Snooker to fall off a ladder and get covered in glue and leaves and King John to fear an alien invasion. He determines to build an arsenal against it but steals all the villagers' clothes to sell in order to provide funds to build it.
Robin goes to Worksop to buy a Chinese takeaway but finds he has been given only one bean-sprout,which he throws away in disgust. Gary and Graeme have been sent to get a 'fur' to clothe Guy with, but come back with a fir tree by mistake, which is discarded in the same place as the bean-sprout. Robin believes this is just like 'Jack and the Bean-stalk' and he climbs the tree, ending up in the Royal dining room, where he steals the king's takeaway for the merry men.
Everyone is feeling the pinch and the sheriff sacks Gary to cut costs. The sheriff is almost sacked by the king but avoids it and,along with remaining guard Graeme, takes a trunk containing the king's gold to the bank. Fearing attack they dress up in an elephant costume but the trunk breaks off it and Graeme, mis-hearing the sheriff, takes the elephant's trunk to the bank and leaves the money behind.
King John aims to tunnel to Scunthorpe but the locals are horrified as Scunthorpe dwellers have two heads. Rose and Guy aim to raise cash with a phoney ransom by pretending that Marian has kidnapped Guy,who goes off to the forest. As part of the plan Marian and Rose are tied together and are pelted with mud by the villagers,who assume they are a two-headed monster from Scunthorpe.
Fed up with the merry men's sexist attitudes Marian quits the gang and teams up with Rose, who is selling home improvements, including a flat pack extension for the castle in which John can put Guy's many toys. Rose, of course, is planning to deliver Marian and her men to the sheriff and lures them into the dungeons. However Marian escapes and ends up in the extension, which promptly collapses. Feeling ashamed of themselves the lads invite Marian back as their leader though Rose prefers to stay in the dungeons rather than become their au pair.
When the villagers catch colds the sheriff takes them to the seaside but, once there, forces them to build him and the king a holiday camp in time to celebrate High Forks Night. This commemorates a failed attempt to kill the Royal family which caused forks to go flying up in the air. The merry men are holidaying nearby and so Marian dresses as the food inspector, allowing her and her gang to infiltrate the camp, where they tell the villagers to feign having the Multi-Coloured Pimple Plague in order to escape.
The gang are suffering from insomnia and keeping everybody else awake so Gladys gives them a cure, Sleepy Cake, though it only succeeds in making them look like the Beatles. Gladys says her father knows a cure but he is a prisoner in King John's castle so the merry men set out to rescue him.They get him out, though not only do Marian and Robin get caught in the process but the old boy wants to go back to the castle as he is used to being a prisoner.
King John hires a man who is Robin's exact double to do bad things around Worksop, thereby discrediting him and the outlaws. However he is rumbled by Marian who persuades him to work with the merry men and a dead ringer for the sheriff and make Robin popular again. With the job done the look-alike sheriff gets somewhat carried away and heads to the castle to attack King John, making life difficult for his double.
After the castle is attacked King John decides to abdicate in favour of Guy. He goes off to the outlaws' hideout where Robin, hoping the king will leave him money, entertains him. However the king eats the merry men out of house and home to Marian's annoyance.Guy is an extremely childish ruler and the sheriff is tired of his infantile demands. He thus forges an unlikely alliance with Marian and the merry men, whereby they use giant puppet dinosaurs to frighten Guy into abdicating. However John likes it so much in the hideout he refuses to leave.
Rabies falls asleep, causing the outlaws to miss an ambush but, on waking, he sees a boat purchased by the king at a boat show. The merry men steal it and take it to Scarborough to push off the cliffs, in the process landing in a parallel universe where nice princesses Rose and Guya have been usurped by a witch who looks like Gladys and an ogre who is a ringer for Snooker. Rabies becomes a hero when he steals Gladys's magic wand and turns her into a box of tissues and Snooker into a set of place mats.
