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Private Notes
A year later and Alf is still living under the same roof as - and bickering with - Mrs Hollingbery,particularly over her scrounging friend Michael. Alf really loses it when the alarm on a car parked outside his house goes off and decides to teach the driver a lesson,though of course it rebounds on him and his efforts to get revenge on the workmen digging a hole outside the house are equally as ineffectual.
Alf gets a job pushing the wheelchair to deliver papers but,after he has played a prank on an irate householder,a storm blows his papers away so he decides to gain efficiency by hooking his wheelchair to the milk float. Unfortunately he goes careering downhill - into the swimming pool of a black footballer he recently abused. There is reconciliation but a further misadventure with the chair lands him in a removals van on its way to Newcastle.
After holding forth on moral issues Alf goes to the pub where the big news is that Fred Johnson's wife has left him for her Lesbian lover. To make matters worse she intends to move her into the marital home. Alf,of course,blames the French for introducing permissiveness into the country and ends up getting threatened by Mrs Johnson for his pains.
Alf is still concerned about ill health, but this time it is Mrs Hollingbery's ailments that worry him. His concern is not born out of tender feelings towards her - rather that her bad leg is a major inconvenience to him. Who's going to cook and clean for him?
When Alf gets stuck inside the wardrobe he is moving for Mrs Hollingbery he overhears her telling Mrs Carey she only wanted to marry him for his money so he takes all the cash he has been hoarding to the bank. The notes are so old they are no longer legal tender and having accumulated so much undeclared cash might cause problems with the tax office. Fortunately Alf sees a way round such matters.
Having deposited his wealth in several banks under assumed names Alf makes a hefty withdrawal but comes home to find his furniture has been stolen so he buys more and chains it down. Anxious to know how long he has left he visits a Harley Street doctor who books him into a private clinic,which soon becomes the scene of a good old knees up for Alf and his friends.
As Alf celebrates his wealth with a new snooker table he takes Fred as a lodger and gets a visit from Min,still amorously pursuing him. He also gets a visit from the bank manager,who has brought the tax man to investigate why Alf is so wealthy. Alf persuades Michael and Fred to impersonate him and explain everything was won in competitions. He nearly gets away with too.
