5x08 App Development and Condiments

David: "With meowmeowbeenz, students can rate teachers. Teachers can rate students. Everyone and anyone can rate each other."

Abed: "Meowmeowbeenz takes everything subjective and unspoken about human interaction and reduces it to explicit, objective numbers. I've never felt more alive."

• Like TV, books, video games and film!

Jeff: "How?"
Annie: "She's nice to people, Jeff. You know Shirley."
Shirley: "Oh, Vicki, thank you. Did you just give me four meowmeowbeenz?"
Vicki: "Um..."
Shirley: "I love my four from Vicki."
[Vicki's rating goes down.]

• Wtf

Vicki: "No! Stop it! I didn't mean it!"
[Vicki sobbing and running away.]
Jeff: "Yeah. I do know Shirley."

Jeff: "I'm like, 'That's two cups,' and she's like, 'What?' I'm like, 'Two cups, balls back, tops off.' "

• Jeff is a bro

Abed: "Small talk, guys. I make small talk now."

Star-Burns: "These are snacks for the fives."
Leonard: "Yeah? You're a two."
Annie: "Leonard, would you rather a three serve the fives food?"
Leonard: "No."

• Damn, what happened

Abed: "Give my spot to someone else. I don't want to be a five. I was happy as a three. I'm miserable."
Shirley: "Oh, dear Abed. So humble."
[Abed's rating goes up.]
Abed: "You people are monsters."

Man: "You know... I once loved a two."
[Man sighing.]
Man: "Matthew... He was my everything. But... numbers change."

• Damn

Britta: "Actually, keep the tray tables where they are, Koogler."
Jeff: "Oh, great mother of ones, Mustard-faced saviour, there is still a five hiding among us that has not been cleansed."
Britta: "Nonsense. All fives were reduced to oneness in the great purge of about two minutes ago."

Koogler: "So how do you cleanse a five that's unregistered?"
Jeff: "Delete it."

• Delete it? No, give it 1 star

Britta: "No! No! Wait! NO, DON'T GO! Where are you going?!"
[Voice breaking.]
Britta: "No."

• RIP Britta