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Private Notes
Three incoming freshman attending college football powerhouse Blue Mountain State University must quickly adapt to college life while juggling football, girls and nonstop hazing.
When Denise goes away for the weekend, she gives Craig a promise ring which he ends up losing after a wild, drunken night at a strip club with Alex and Sammy, who hatch a plan to keep Denise from killing Craig while they search for the ring.
When the team's lackluster play leads to a team curfew leading up to the Mountain Goats' biggest game of the season, Thad's prized pocket p***y gets passed around from teammate to teammate leading to an outbreak of syphilis.
Leading up to a rivalry game against Overland University, the Mountain Goats' starting quarterback is suspended, Alex is named the starter and Sammy is accidentally kidnapped along with Billy the Goat as part of a prank by Overland.
Alex's lack of commitment to the team gets him demoted to special teams. Meanwhile, Craig suspects Denise is having an affair and Sammy leads a mob of angry cheerleaders looking for revenge on all the college guys who have wronged them.
After a streak of bad luck, the team holds a "Lock-In Party" at the Goat House to build team camaraderie at which Alex and Thad divide the rest of the players into two groups and compete in a drug-fueled Team Building Olympics.
A player-recruitment weekend brings out a running back who poses a threat to Craig's position while Alex tries to enlist the top high-school quarterback for Blue Mountain State.
When Alex has sex with a lacrosse player's girlfriend, he unwittingly breaks a 23-year football/lacrosse team truce, causing a take-no-prisoners war which he must figure out how to end.
Principal Simmons and Coach Daniels issue an ultimatum to the players: pass the upcoming midterms or forfeit the rest of the season.
During Marathon Monday, a BMS drinking tradition where the whole campus parties from 6 a.m. Monday to 6 a.m. Tuesday, Alex meets and hooks up with the girl of his dreams who turns out to be just like him and Sammy and Craig go on a drinking binge together.
The father of Alex's date becomes fixated on him while Sammy contends with his own daddy issues.
The guys struggle to figure out a way to pass the NCAA's random student-athlete drug testing.
After an unexpected bowl game pick the team goes to Louisiana. Thad tries to keep his team safe while also sabatoging the other team. Shiloh has a problem of his own to deal with.
In response to last season's dismal outcome, Coach Daniels brings in a new star QB who turns out to be a loose cannon, taking Alex on an increasingly dangerous adventure. Meanwhile, Sammy's sister, Mary Jo, arrives at BMS and joins the cheerleading squad after some hazing.
After being sodomized in a fumble pile during practice, Thad sets off on an investigation into who violated him, with each teammate's version of the story conflicting with the next.
The team becomes celibate in order to boost their performance on the field, but it backfires when Mary Jo, out of frustration, stirs them into a frenzy. Plus, Coach Daniel's ex-wife Debra shows up to collect unpaid debts.
The team begins accepting increasingly ostentatious gifts from agents, while Coach Daniels fends off pressure to play the annoying, Rudy-like son of a local booster.
Alex, Thad, and Radon receive a message from an unknown woman saying she is pregnant and each respond very differently. Meanwhile, Sammy must decide between staying with a girl out of his league at a price or to go back to being single while Coach Daniels attempts to rekindle his relationship with his son.
The campus nerds revolt, leaving the jocks unable to function academically and causing an identity crisis in Sammy.
Alex unwittingly sleeps with Coach Daniels' ex-wife and gets used as a pawn in their bitter relationship, while Sammy struggles to end Mary Jo's new fascination with a guitar-toting heartthrob.
After the campus is vacated, Thad goes on a vision quest to help him decide between staying at BMS next year and going pro.
During rivalry weekend, Overland's mascot gets loose, and Alex and Thad set out to find it so Alex can tailgate and Thad can eat its balls.
Alex decides that becoming the backup goalie for BMS' hockey team is the perfect way to avoid his conditioning obligations and Radon quickly follows suit. Meanwhile, Mary Jo becomes Thad's personal cheerleader.
Alex and his teammates end up in the local drunk tank, where they must stay until they blow a .06 on the breathalyzer. Sammy attempts to get drunk enough to join them so he can break them out from the inside, a la Prison Break.
The team is one game away from and undefeated season when Radon is tackled in practice by Thad creating a confidence struggle that takes him out of the game. Meanwhile, Daniels suffers a heart attack as the pressure of a potential perfect season in jeopardy mounts.
When a riot breaks out on campus after the team goes undefeated, Alex and the players must cross the frenzied campus to the Goat House to save Sammy from being torn apart by rabid fans.
Alex and Thad deal with the ramifications of a pornographic photo that Thad sent from Alex's phone after it makes its way around campus. Meanwhile, Harmon debates how he will respond to some suggestive photos that Daniels and Debra inadvertently sent him.
While Alex adjusts to becoming the starting quarterback and team captain, Thad awaits word on his future with the team after his drug related arrest following BMS' loss in last season's championship game. In the meantime, Sammy attempts to move into the Goat House and Mary Jo begins her try-sexual journey.
Alex takes on Thad's persona as he struggles to pull Thad out of a post-suspension slump while Sammy meets the perfect girl only to realize he will soon lose her.
Alex and Sammy have a falling out when Alex plays the best game in his career and accepts it as the peak in his life. Meanwhile, Daniels and Jon Jon have mixed feelings about a job offer that Jon Jon received.
Thad offers to teach Alex what it is to be a local celebrity but he has ulterior motives. Mary Jo goes to exterme lengths to impress Coach Daniels' wife, who herself is trying to revive her sex life with her husband.
A blackout on campus has postponed the following day's game against Buckingham. Alex uses it as an opportunity to settle the score with one of Buckingham's cheerleaders who humiliated him in high school. Daniels and the other BMS coaches play a game of poker against the Buckingham coaches with increasingly high stakes.
When his pre-game rituals start to betray his game-time performance, Harmon goes on a quest to find new mystical superstitions that will restore his kicking abilities. Meanwhile, off the advice of a psychic, Sammy explores career opportunities that will really show his worth.
As Coach Daniels prepares to be inducted into the College Hall of Fame, Thad comes to terms with some troubling secrets from Daniels' past while Alex connects with Marty on a new level.
Thad's behavior takes a turn for the worse after he suffers a concussion, making it difficult for Daniels to hide the injury from both Gilday and ultimately the NCAA. Meanwhile, Sammy, trapped in the Goat House basement, reevaluates his masturbation habits.
"One Week," a "Hard Knocks"-esque television series, is at BMS following the team and its coaches both on and off the field. While documenting the franchise's struggle to return to its former glory, the 'show-within-a-show' highlights the growing feud between Gilday and Alex, Daniels' insecurities caused by Gilday, and Thad's desire to become an actor.
BMS rejoices when they find they will be playing Blackwell for the Bowl Championship. The celebration is cut short, however, when the NCAA comes at them with 3 years of dirt on the team - enough to bring the axe down on the football program.
BMS loses the Bowl Game to Blackwell when their starters are benched from play due to breaking NCAA rules. Feeling robbed, the BMS starters challenge the Blackwell starters to an unofficial Bowl Game - the Real bowl game - in a local corn field which Thad has converted into a football field.
The battle continues as the BMS and Blackwell teams fight it out on the corn field for bragging rights as to who the real champion is.
