When Steve suffers indignities in school because of the back brace he must wear for his scoliosis, Stan confides in him that he wears a wig to cover his baldness. Meanwhile, Roger invites both Francine and Hayley to a posh spa even though he has only two passes.
Stan is ecstatic--and energetic--when a coworker gives him pills that allow him to stay up all night.
The Smiths catch Roger spending time with another family--and it turns out that he has been a family "cheater" for decades.
When Langley Falls bans trans fats, Stan and Steve become smugglers. Meanwhile, Klaus gets word that he has received an inheritance but can't collect it because the CIA has turned him into a fish.
When Stan forgets to pick up grenadine at the grocery store, Roger goes ballistic and vows to get him back by taking over a project close to his heart--the Homeowner’s Association.
Steve and his friends sabotage a stuck-up kid's bar mitzvah after the kid hits on Steve's girlfriend, Debbie. But when Snot is wrongly accused of stealing the kid's bar-mitzvah money, his own bar mitzvah is put in jeopardy.
Steve connects with his ne'er-do-well paternal grandfather, whom Stan despises for many reasons, not the least of which is that he never taught him to ride a bike. Meanwhile, Hayley must find an internship quickly, so Roger hires her to tend his bar.
Stan is kidnapped in Colombia, but the real trouble begins after he's released and returns home. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger play detective duo "Wheels and the Legman."
Steve and Stan, who don't have much in common, try to bond on a road trip to Albuquerque in search of a pair of the distinctive DeLorean doors to complete a car that Stan has been building. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Francine decide to have an adventure of their own, but they can't decide what to do.
Steve joins a football team to please Stan, who then takes over as coach and gives Steve the boot because he isn't good enough. Meanwhile, Francine and Hayley vie for a blue ribbon at the county fair.
Roger declares that he was sent to Earth to be "the decider" of humanity's fate, and Stan challenges him on it.
Francine and Stan swap spouses with their gay neighbours Terry and Greg when Terry's dad, a former football player who doesn't know that his son is gay, arrives for a visit. Meanwhile, Steve goes on a drunken bender.
Stan leaves Francine at home to go out with the boys, but guys' night out goes from wild to reckless when Stan finds himself in one compromising situation after another. Meanwhile, Roger and Hayley use their charm and looks to attract a frat boy.
Steve is left home as the family plan a trip to Boston hoping to locate a college for Hayley. When his friends arrive they convince him to break the rules, resulting in them finding the controls to a military drone in Stan's study.
Meanwhile, after Stan leaves the plane to return home for his painkillers, Roger changes disguise from a little girl to a Stan constume so he can get served alcohol. When an air marshal notices that the girl is missing, he grounds the plane and investigates.
In order to get a promotion at work, Stan has to convince the dictator of Isla Island to sign a treaty. Stan meets the general and accidentally kills him and has Roger pose as the leader of the small island nation. Meanwhile, Steve and Snot become competitive to see who can get farther with the other’s mom.
Upset that Francine has let herself go, Stan takes drastic measures when she asks him to renew their wedding vows.
When the Smith family goes to church on Christmas Day, Stan is furious when he can’t get a good seat. While Francine tries to ease his frustration, a moment of divine intervention occurs. Upset that he has been left on earth with Francine during the ultimate fight between good and evil, Stan ditches his wife to get into the pearly gates of heaven, but when Francine is kidnapped, Stan fights to get her back.
Francine teaches Roger to be self-sufficient so he can get his own place; at camp, Steve and his friends fall prey to a scheme.
Steve must become the man of the house when Stan re-lives his childhood.
When Steve is selected to sing the national anthem at the Langley Falls Veterans' Day celebration, he gets some heat from Stan who doesn't think he's ready for such an undertaking. Unimpressed with Steve's vocal talents, Stan decides Steve needs to experience real war in order to sing about our country's military prowess. But things quickly go south when Roger gets involved and Steve goes bananas.
Upset that Hayley no longer wants his advice, Stan decides to prove that she is missing out on his sage counseling. After meeting a stripper on an important CIA mission, Stan takes it upon himself to improve her life and show Hayley that his advice works. But when he opens a new business, hoping to prove Hayley wrong, he finds himself dancing for cash to cover up his failures.
When Hayley goes to a My Morning Jacket concert against Stan’s wishes, he crashes the show to bring her back home, but when he hears their music for the first time, it calls to him and he’s smitten. Stan becomes obsessed with the band and decides to follow them on the road as a groupie.