Review by SB-Viking

Red, White & Royal Blue 2023

I feel bad about doing this, but in the interest of honesty and as a public service to those in the community who haven't seen it, here it is. This movie SUCKED BAD. Aside from it being just a ridonkulously absurd story, the execution of this film was TERRIBLE. The casting, other than the price who was quite good, is atrocious. Uma was awful (sorry Uma) and the dude cast as the Presidents son couldn't act his way out of a paper bag if his life depended on it.

Just take the scene where their relationship is first discovered by the Presidential aide. Her acting (and using the word acting is a big stretch) is among the worst I've seen, and I've seen Tori Spelling act. That scene alone will make you want to poke your own eyes out.

Another huge mistake was the big deal made out of the principals use of an intimacy coach to "nail the chemistry". If the complete lack of chemistry between these two is the result of that intimacy coaching, I'd hate to think how hostile they were to each other BEFORE the coaching. They have ZERO chemistry. None, nadda, zilch, zip.

This script is enough to undo any good will towards writers who are on currently on strike. There is actually, no joke, a line uttered by the prince where he says he's "as gay as a maypole". If that line were gay classical music, Liberace would have refused to play it. I've never in my life met a guy, even on the outer Kuiper belt, Rip Taylor extreme fringes of the gay spectrum actually gay enough to deliver a stupid line like that.....yet there it was. Absurd in the extreme.

This isn't 20, or even 10 years ago. There is plenty of quality gay cinema at this point (Being 17, The Way He Looks, Call Me By Your Name) so no more passes will be given for shit films. This one is two giant scoops of it. Much like a couple hours of watching Hannity or Tucker Carlson, you will actually be less intelligent at the end of this film just from having to sit through it.

It's woke, broke and not worth a toke.

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