Okay, so, Battleship is a movie based off a board game, and I'd say it was flawed, but good. Clue is still the undisputed winner. Really, the main problem is that we have our navy men fighting aliens, who just appear out of nowhere. There's never a clear motivation, they're just on Earth for reasons. As one would expect, there is a lot of CG here, but I thought it was a huge mistake to make the aliens CG instead of people in makeup. On the plus side, the alien ships looked great. The entire production screams of Michael Bay, though, as far as I know, he had nothing to do with the movie. The runtime is way too long, which most of it was wasted building a romance between Shia LaBeouf, and Megan Fox... I mean Alex, and Sam. Listen, I don’t need a romance here, just get to it. We're here for battleships, damn it! There are plenty of good moments, but equally-bad moments, so it never built the momentum to free itself from mediocrity. The comedy felt out of place, for the most part. Also, there were some odd music choices: going from AC/DC to Band of Horses was jarring. The part that really stuck out were the scenes with non actors... and I'm not just talking about Rihanna. There were roles clearly played by retired military men, and some did a decent job, while others... well... thank you for your service, I guess. There were two moments where F bombs were dropped, but the movie had to censor itself due to the PG-13 rating. Man, fuck that shit. Either change the rating or rework the script. The movie has a post-credits scene, but it doesn't matter. To summarize, Battleship felt like Transformers, and Independence Day had a baby, and dropped it in the toilet. Not terrible, but really needed to focus on the action, and ditch the love story.
Review by BronsonBlockedParent2023-01-31T03:37:47Z
Okay, so, Battleship is a movie based off a board game, and I'd say it was flawed, but good. Clue is still the undisputed winner.
Really, the main problem is that we have our navy men fighting aliens, who just appear out of nowhere. There's never a clear motivation, they're just on Earth for reasons. As one would expect, there is a lot of CG here, but I thought it was a huge mistake to make the aliens CG instead of people in makeup. On the plus side, the alien ships looked great.
The entire production screams of Michael Bay, though, as far as I know, he had nothing to do with the movie.
The runtime is way too long, which most of it was wasted building a romance between Shia LaBeouf, and Megan Fox... I mean Alex, and Sam. Listen, I don’t need a romance here, just get to it. We're here for battleships, damn it!
There are plenty of good moments, but equally-bad moments, so it never built the momentum to free itself from mediocrity.
The comedy felt out of place, for the most part. Also, there were some odd music choices: going from AC/DC to Band of Horses was jarring.
The part that really stuck out were the scenes with non actors... and I'm not just talking about Rihanna. There were roles clearly played by retired military men, and some did a decent job, while others... well... thank you for your service, I guess.
There were two moments where F bombs were dropped, but the movie had to censor itself due to the PG-13 rating. Man, fuck that shit. Either change the rating or rework the script.
The movie has a post-credits scene, but it doesn't matter.
To summarize, Battleship felt like Transformers, and Independence Day had a baby, and dropped it in the toilet. Not terrible, but really needed to focus on the action, and ditch the love story.