2x12 Postpartum

Goddammit, I don't even know what to think anymore. That last scene was pure and good and gentle, but at the same time I don't think I'll ever be able to get rid of the horrible taste that the rape scene from 2 episodes ago left in my mouth. I keep going back and forth between wanting to kill Serena my damn self and feeling for her. This twisted dynamic between her and June evokes all kinds of mixed emotions. And I'm getting tired of the two steps forward, one step back thing which has been prevalent in Serena's arc this season. She needs to pick a side already. You're either holding a woman down while your husband rapes her or you're crying your eyes out and letting her nurse her child. You can't have both.

Eden, you poor, poor thing. I'm sorry, but this is all Nick's fault. She was a 15-year-old kid who was indoctrinated into thinking that her sole purpose in life was to bear children and be a good wife. If he had thought to be a little nicer and more empathetic towards her instead of acting like a moody teenager (which is ironic, considering she was the only actual teenager in that mess), maybe she wouldn't have fallen for the first dude who showed the slightest interest in what she was doing. I'm so sad for her, but also really angry. She didn't deserve this.

Shoutout to Elisabeth Moss for yet another masterclass in acting. The way her eyes go dead whenever Waterford is in her general vicinity is awe-inspiring.

I'm a slut for any and all Emily content, so I absolutely loved seeing her in more than one scene in this episode. This whole storyline is so interesting and it's a shame that we're getting it so late in the season. I was holding my breath throughout her whole conversation with Lawrence. What does he want from her? Is what his wife said true? So many questions, so little time to answer them!

I think, as it about to end, that the main theme of this season is "Actions and Consequences". The state of things in Gilead is f@#cked up, but that's what it is, everyone knows it. Characters in this story are doing things like they don't know where they are. The escaping attempts aside (it seems pretty occasional and not planned by June's side), all the decisions are so odd, and I could take it if the makers of these hard decisions and actions are ready to face the consequences, if such will come by (and the show showed us over and over that they'll come). The games June "plays" with Serina and Fred, the things she tells Eden and aunt Lidia - and then she doing that gulping/swallow dead gaze thing like she completely don't gets how this from all things is the result. Fred, beside making Gilead and its horrors real, rapes June and don't gets why she wants to run? Serina is a b¡tch most of the time but she's the only one who might be a little surprised by the hypocrisy of this weird community and that her handmaid answers her, but not that she (June) hates her guts, or by the fact that she's (Serina or every other woman) having a hard time living in the primitive world SHE (again, Serina) literally help to create. Nick is surprised - really? He's supposed to be an Eye. He shouldn't be surprised of anything (surely not after he was the one who said "we might have a problem here"). Let's see if that Lawrence dude will be (a) surprised too.

Maybe it's easy for me to say, here behind the keyboard, but eating the cake and keeping it whole is not an option in the show's world, and I expect the characters to get it by now. Emily gets it, Janine unfortunately forced to get it (thier story became much more interesting now, BTW). Lucky for us it's not a Doco series, but an imaginary show, and as I don't question the acting quality, it became too predictable for me to feel on the edge.
Or maybe I just got used to all the dystopia\apocalypse genre of shows