3x15 Harbinger

[5.5/10] “Harbinger” wasn’t so bad a watch for most of its runtime, but it’s an episode I like less and less the more and more I think about it. I think part of that comes from the assumption that even for the storylines I wasn’t enamored with within it, the episode was potentially building to something worthwhile with them. Instead, it just petered out with a series of misaimed, undercooked plots that couldn’t pass muster. Let’s take them one at the time.

The only storyline is this episode that kind of sort of works starts with a scaly alien being pulled of some intergalactic goop by the Enterprise crew. Archer and T’Pol talk in veiled exposition about the creation myth of The Expanse that their prior “guests” talked about, and wonder if there’s some truth to it, which hints at the origin for this unfortunate fellow. Eventually, he claims to be a transdimensional being of some sort, albeit one who is dying after his exposure to that interstellar slop pile.

There’s not much to it from there, but his storyline at least advances the major arc of the season in a significant way. Until then, we just get more of generic line-crossing Archer, who wants Phlox to revive the alien despite the fact that he’s dying and in pain so as to get information from him. The last act sees the alien make good on his transdimensional-ness by wandering through the ship’s walls Kitty Pryde-style and causing all kinds of problems in the process. But it’s mostly just a standard-issue plot obstacle that is resolved neatly by the end of the episode.

The interesting development to come out of all of this is the aline’s proclamation that after the Xindi destroy Earth, his people will be able to take over. It’s more a vague portentous hint than anything substantive, but with the other heavy-handed schtick in the episode, it point to a new wrinkle in the XIndi arc. Namely, my theory is that The scaly aliens want to terraform, for lack of a better term, the Expanse and/or the Sol system so that they can live within our dimension, and the Expanse was their first attempt to make something like that work. His grand declaration is pretty corny and vague, but it still adds another piece to the puzzle, which is more than you can say for the rest of the episode.

The second storyline is the rivalry between Lt. Reed and Major Hayes, and it’s just the pits. It’s a stock story about the two military-ish men jockeying for position and trying to hold down their spots within the Enterprise’s pecking order. Malcolm is threatened by another tactical officer type being on the ship and is owrried about being undermined or having his job stolen, and Maj. Hayes resents the way that Reed has stifled him and the MACOs on the ship.

The power struggle and personal rivalry there isn’t a bad idea for a story, but it’s realized in the campiest way. Inevitably, we default to some joint training sessions between the Enterprise senior officers and the MACOs. This inevitably results in the sort of private parts-measuring contests between Reed and Hayes -- over hand-to-hand combat, shooting, scheduling -- that leave you rolling your eyes over and over again.

But some of that would be tolerable if it didn’t culminate in the two of them doing their best attempt at a Wrestlemania match. All of this jostling turns into a scrap between the two officers, which offers sub-Walker: Texas Ranger-level fisticuffs that strain credulity. At one point, Reed actually busts out a suplex!

Inevitably, when things start to go wrong on the ship, they band together and manages to help save the day, thereby papering over their differences. It’s a lame end to a lame storyline, and the garbage sprinkled on top is that it ends with Archer delivering another unconvincing “I’m angry and dramatic” speech to them.

But even that is preferable to the third storyline in the episode, which features a frickin’ juvenile love triangle with T’Pol and Trip. T’Pol notices that Trip has gotten friendly with Cole, one of the MACOs, and is jealous over it. She’s short with Trip and harsh with Cole and my god, the whole thing is just so high school. I am not above Vulcans having petty impulses -- lord knows that Spock would bury his in high-minded logic but nevertheless inflict them on Bones and others from time to time -- but the episode plays this like a cheesy romantic comedy or teen drama.

That’s a shame, because it squanders the quality, pathos-ridden work the show did in “Similitude” over T’Pol learning of Trip’s affections and being affected by them when having to say goodbye to his twin, and turns into a dumb, space-bound episode of Dawson’s Creek. As I’ve said before, Blalock and Trineer have good chemistry, which helps make some of the material passable. But even they can’t rescue the hokey approach to a love story this episode takes.

The worst thing is that the show uses this as the basis to pull the trigger on Trip and T’Pol being together. They have their first kiss after a warmed over 27 Dresses-esque attempt at jealous romantic banter, where Trip accuses T’Pol of being jealous of him and Cole and T’Pol accuses Trip of being jealous of her and Sim. The strained attempt at a slap-slap-kiss vibe culminates in more gratuitous nudity, which I’ve made my peace with from Enterprise at this point.

But then rather than having that be it, and having Trip and T’Pol explore their relationship in earnest now, the show tries to walk it back with T’Pol writing it off as an “experiment in human sexuality.” And so now we have to drag out this will they/won’t they nonsense for god knows how much longer. It’s a hard thing for even the best shows to pull off, and romantic angles have never been this show’s strong suit.

The final verdict is that “Harbinger” gives its viewers three stories, one of which is solid but undercooked, and two which are meh-to-bad. It’s a watchable episode, if only because it tends to backload the worst of its dross, and an important one to watch for continuity purposes presumably, but one that tries its audience’s patience with dumb approaches to the hoary tropes that make up the episode’s foundation.