3x16 The Big One

[9.0/10] I’ve had my beefs with Paris as a character. She can be so needlessly vindictive, so harsh for so little reason, that it’s really hard for me to be on her side, despite the difficult home life we’ve seen glimpses of. Hell, even in this episode, we see her belittling and demeaning her classmates in an effort to psyche them out ahead of the Chilton speech competition.

And yet, we also see her at her most raw and vulnerable, both in a moment of great momentousness for her, and in one of great pain, and each reveals the side of Paris I truly appreciate -- the person who means well and yet unfortunately suffers for what she’s not and what she wants to be.

The momentous event is Paris losing her virginity. It’s worth noting that this episode is written by series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino and it benefits from that greatly. Case-in-point, it’s a canny choice to have this be the event that bridges the gap between Rory and Paris. One evening, Paris is prickly as ever, but the next, she comes to Rory as a friend, not because the act of physical intimacy has somehow changed her demeanor, but because she needs to process such big an event, and realizes that Rory is the only real sounding board she’s ever had.

Naturally, Paris reacts to it in a perfectly Paris way, wanting to turn it into a debate, wondering how things progressed that way despite the lack of alluring clothing and the presence of discussions on classical Marxism. But Rory eventually squares her up and teases out that as big as this is, Paris is okay with it, and should feel okay with it, because she loves Jamie and everything about it was alright.

As funny as that conversation is, it leads to two great moments. The first is Lorelai inadvertently hearing that Rory has not slept with either Dean or Jess, doing an adorable little fist-pump upon hearing the news. That, combined with her little hug and declaration that she “got the good kid” is a sweet and well-observed bit of parental life, calming Lorelai’s fears without having her overstep her bounds (despite the semi-questionable if understandable eavesdropping).

The second is Paris’s apology and quiet explication of who she is. When she admits that she “assumes the worst in people” it feels like a product of the home life she grew up with, one that leads her to question even her (reluctantly) dearest friend. It’s a remarkable moment of self-clarity for the character, and the rueful but nigh-wordlessly accepted contrition shown to Rory instantly redeems this arc for the two of them, despite the ridiculousness of how it started and the sitcom of hokiness of the Chilton Headmaster’s “you two should write a speech together” plan.

There’s a similar hokiness to the way that Lorelai and Max keeping running into one another, but it works. I have to admit, I’ve warmed to the two of them a bit. Max always felt like a placeholder love interest, and their relationship was always so herky jerky and oddly-paced from the beginning that it was hard to get on board. But there is something that works about the two of them together, and while I’m not exactly rooting for them to get together, I’m glad that the show gives us at least one episode to give a little closure to their relationship, even if it’s as much of a tease as it is tying a button.

Still, I like the fact that “The Big One” has Lorelai feeling bad about what happened, talking it over with the people closest to her, and trying to explain and apologize to Max. I like even better how adult Max is about it, asking how Rory’s doing and being a friendly acquaintance rather than a bitter ex. Again, I don’t want them back together, but there is something oddly natural about them falling into that kiss again, and I can at least appreciate the way the show has sketched a history and emotional connection between the two of them, even if I hope it doesn’t become a thing again.

What is a thing is Rory anxiously awaiting her acceptance letter, and as annoying as the gimmick of Kirk as a principled but disorganized mailman is, the episode does nicely capture that fear and anticipation of what piece of your destiny may be waiting for you in the mailbox as a high school senior.

Unfortunately for Paris, what was waiting in her mailbox was not welcome news. “The Big One” delivers the info about her rejection from Harvard in as deft, and if you will, Paris-y a way as possible. I love that the normally perfectly put together, perfectly poised Paris wears the news by strolling in late, looking disheveled, and unleashing a rant rather than giving her meticulously prepared remarks. It’s simultaneously the most un-Paris thing imaginable, and yet such a natural and understandable reaction to having all of her plans and expectations dashed with a single letter.

But what’s better yet is the second heart-to-heart between her and Rory in the episode. In it, Paris admits that she thinks this is cosmic punishment. She lost her virginity, something that, as she so amusingly puts it, is something she’d put way lower on the probability scale than getting into Harvard, and for that “sin” the universe is pulling the rug out from under her and her collegiate dreams. Rory is the right shoulder to cry on, giving her comfort and reassurance, trying to snap her out of that sort of natural but wholly inaccurate mode of thinking, and proving that she is a real friend.

The hug the two share is so heartening because it’s so earned. The pair have had a rocky go of it over nearly three seasons of Gilmore GIrls, but that entire time, the show has been developing their relationship, giving them the moments of coming together and falling apart, the highs and the lows, to make that common ground and comfort meaningful.

Paris is a complex character, responsible for more of the lows than the highs. But she’s also an understandable one, and seeing her here at an unexpected bit of joy, and then an even more unexpected loss shines a light on who the character really is. She’s someone who has, despite her drivenness and smarts, had a difficult time of things and who, whether she’s surprisingly happy or dashed in a way she couldn’t imagine, reaches for the enemy-turned-ally who slowly but surely became her best friend.