5x13 Basic Sandwich

Dean: "Some people said he hid his money using a portal to another dimension. Those people were on LSD. Everyone else said he had a secret vault in his office."

Jeff: "Abed, if there's killer robots down here, you'll tell them we're on your side, right?"
Abed: "Yes, but we won't know them from ordinary robots until they kill us."

Dean: "And this little rocket launcher from some action figure."
[Shoots and swallows. Gagging.]

• Omg

Annie: "Stop. You guys... What are we doing?"
Abed: "Saving Greendale."
Annie: "From what? We were driven down here by sellouts with crappy values."
[Everyone looks at Annie.]
Annie: "Since when do human beings decide which dreams are worthwhile? Look at him. He's one of us."
[Dean and Abed look at Russel Borchert. Annie gazes at Jeff.]
Annie: "We have to respect each other enough to let each other want what we want,"
[Jeff gazes back.]
Annie: "No matter how transparently self-destructive or empty our desires may be."

• Damn, Alison Brie

Jeff: "You have no legal claim to that money!"
Carl: "Take it up with Subway in about an hour... After close of escrow."

• But it's Russell Borchert's money
• If the show ended there, I wouldn't be satisfied