Submerged 2005

ai yi yi... Seagal movies can get worse, but not by much. This was one stinking flop that made absolutely NO SENSE at all, and as "Woody" has pointed out, there was very little about a submarine or being "submerged". I can't speak for anyone else but the film itself didn't seem to follow the synopsis…at least, not from my perspective? And what's with Seagal having his lines phoned in by someone else? Seagal himself might have spoken a half-dozen (if that many) lines in the entire movie; the rest of it was phoned in by someone with a raspy voice and bad ghetto slanguage. (Granted, it wasn't as bad as the voiceover in Out of Reach but still…) I just don't get it; the guy wants to make movies but doesn't want to say his own lines? But back to the movie itself: it was just way too muddled, confusing, outlandish even for a Steven Seagal movie. Too bad Vinnie Jones had to tarnish his rep by being a part of this but at least he was his usual cold-as-ice, tough-as-nails self. There was ... honestly, I can't think of one positive thing to say about this movie…well, yeah: it was only an hour-and-a-half, but even that was about 60 minutes too long. Seriously, this was just bad. And don't watch it for any hand-to-hand fight scenes. It was all guns and ramming cars into stuff; there was one scene at the very end that lasted about 3-5 seconds (literally) before Seagal pulled a gun and shot the guy. No Akido scenes in this one, and absolutely ZERO reasons for ever sitting through this tripe more than once.