I rate this as a 3. Bad. I will change my mind, because this is incredible.
The first time watching, 8 to 9 seeped down to a 6.
I watch mediocre TV. Lots of Mediocre TV, i should enjoy this and be willing to suspend my disbelief. I have tens of thousands of hours of TV on trakt, and elsewhere, hundreds of scifi shows. This series is ... superlative garbage. I... hate this show. I shouldn't hate it, it's gorgeous and awesome and I ... hate this. I want to mildly be annoyed, or wishing it could do better, but i can't believe or make myself appreciate it and stop thinking about the stages it went through to become this bad and intolerable
As i started to deconstruct, things became apparent and awful, things i'd glimmered over, are dead ends, and immersive elements that are hit or miss when the story is good, detract from the pilot "movie" in catastrophic ways. Meddling is everywhere.
What ruins this show is not the acting, or the CGI, it's the story and the characters.
Then, it quickly dawned on me that this was a parody, because of one badly written Mary Sue of a character, Michael Burnham. Nothing about the show feels like it should exist when she is in the room, on screen or interacting with other people once you've seen Ep 2. As I watched, and become more disillusioned, the score dropped below a 5. i passed the point of tolerating the show's banality around the point of the second episode's flashbacks to Michael's upbringing and the "vulcan hello", because the character is integral, and damaged. but ultimately, you don't sympathise.
I can see what this was supposed to be, what it was, what it could have been. Burnham is a catalyst, as was Spock. But they overwrote the shit out of the character to get there, and it harms the entire fabric of the universe of the show to get to the point of where she is invulnerable and heroic, brave and stunning, awesome and likeable, charming and elfin, charismatic and effective, smart and capable, vulnerable and emotional, concerned and ruthless, etc.
Yes, we get it. Michael Burnham is a Disney Princess, along with Rey from Force Awakens and Padme from Episode 2, right ? There are action figures in the stores already, right ?
I will definitely keep watching because it's Star Trek, as this is supposed to be "The Original Series" prequel, No.
=FUCK THIS SHOW=
Everything about this show once you remove the billion dollars of money about to be poured into the franchise, is tepid. All the writers that have "polished" or dumbed things down, added a bit of pep or written out dialogue to make it more personable, more emotional, etc. are meddling with a concept that should not need this much work, to the extent that it's severely overwritten and layered insanity on top of insanity. Whatever was clever or good about the first, second or third draft is meaningless.
I don't even need to put a benchmark on this, because they have an android, wearing a Daft Punk Helmet, who is a woman. WHY ? Every answer i've seen to this flatly refuses to point to this character, perhaps because they have no names.
They are expendable, forgettable placeholders. Great.
Here's what I've created for a backstory, because it makes no difference whatsoever ... The Android probably has a tragic orphan backstory where her parents were a windows 10 desktop that suddenly died as a result of installing CCleaner and she was brought up all alone, and grew up on Earth as a triple-monitor desktop, answering search queries for Bing, and in 2120, decided to get a human body, and then in 2210 travelled the stars as a ship's computer, got into a relationship with their captain, which ended badly, had a sex change, hung out with her new friends on vulcan who preferred her as a vertical monitor setup ... and here she is, a highly decorated veteran ship's computer, a valued member of the crew of a starship, adorning a helmet with her vertical monitors showing her proud heritage of being a unique individual who knows who she is ... Oh, and she can also travel through time, her father is secretly Harry Potter, and she can wear earrings and smoke, because she's cool like that too, and, because it's the future, smoking is totally safe because of magic, er nanobots. and also, she's an android so she doesn't have to worry about being a slut, so she's had sex with like, all the cute alien boys and...
etc.
Why are there people with flashing headwear, why is there an android/robot on the crew, interfaces do nothing, or have standard controls. Why does the captain ask for things she knows don't exist. Is it because the crew wants Burnham to die ? I'd believe that. Part of me knows it's a writer's device to show empathy for the Protag when she's in danger, by being so concerned she's desperate for a different answer so she can feel she tried to help as much as possible.
And then there's the video-game holograms and tactical eye-tracking interfaces that don't do anything, that lack cohesion or thought or practical elements from a design POV.
Until i can get past the idea that this is a terribly overblown Fan Fiction like My Immortal or Warcraft the Movie, I keep hitting dead ends where i want to be positive and give it consideration unduly, or see what other people do like about it.
But I can't.
My brain keeps rejecting the writing, the dialogue, the character motivations are garbage, the names are irrelevant, The design of visual elements is distilled failure. The technical design is fantastic levels of failed design methodology and concept. world building is broken at a fundamental level because there's no coherence within the established universe or themes, no bridging characters or elements exist other than ... there's phasers and communicators and the logo is the same. the thematic elements of the "New" federation values, the sudden expendability of a bridge officer versus a starship with armor and radiation shielding. or a shuttle. or a probe. On a science ship, i guess ? because I tend to trust the instinct of a naval commander that likes to jump on a jetski and "git er dun" to fix problems or investigate an anomaly in the wake of a sun's extreme radiation.
The fact that nobody countermands or prohibits "Michael" as an officer is ... problematic. To let someone with a deathwish be in command, let alone the captain's favourite, the crew must want her dead. This is the only explanation i've been able to conceive of that works here, and it makes the show better if you imagine that the only member of the crew wanting to keep her alive is the computer which is obliged by ethical routines it can't ignore, and the captain, who admires a brattish psychopath who would definitely murder everyone on the crew to prove a point. The speculation of a lesbian relationship is not dismissable, but it's trite and convenient, so there's a strong possibility it actually exists or was muted at some stage.
So, naturally, this is what makes good captains in the future. Ambition, Pride and bare metal confidence in being correct, brown-nosing up to people in higher command, and latent psychotic tendencies. FANTASTIC This, in spite of the Mary Sue elements of an orphaned girl, who is Spock's adopted sister, who has a secret vulcan power of telepathy, and has to be the best person of all time when she's in the room and is always the best; because she's a girl ! with issues! and she wants to help everyone by killing! Just put a fucking light saber in her hand and call her Rey.
I have zero compassion or sympathy because everyone who deals with this level of insanity and tolerates her deserves to die. Gifted isn't the right word, it's Magical thinking that makes this show awesome. By sharp comparison, this makes Enterprise better, and makes the rest of Star Trek worse.
This is sort of the Wookie Defense in a nutshell. If you can accept that there's a reason for this, or you didn't notice, or you did, and have no problems, fuck you. I don't have any strong feelings whatsoever on the Klingons as a threat or as a character, or as a race or culture, because, it is so poorly done in theme that it's obviously a "hook" designed to reel you in.
I don't even trust the hook, the reel, the fish, the fisherman, the concept is bankrupted by the script and design that went into this. I expect this from zombie movies, or first time directors, or reality TV shows, where you don't need a backstory.
Vin Diesel needs to race a car to steal a bank vault, f yeah, lets go with it. Naval Pilot decides to learn to ice skate because he has cancer, then starts a nuclear war with Iceland, okay, maybe not.
First officer decides to jetpack into a radiation hazard, kills someone, then to hide the evidence, wants to kill the entire ship of people to stop them from becoming martyrs when they find the body, and then decides to attack anyway when everyone around her says no.
Classy. Top Notch Entertainment. 9/10 Excitement and Thrills.
Review by TolimanVIP 10BlockedParent2017-09-27T08:40:55Z
I rate this as a 3. Bad. I will change my mind, because this is incredible.
The first time watching, 8 to 9 seeped down to a 6.
I watch mediocre TV. Lots of Mediocre TV, i should enjoy this and be willing to suspend my disbelief. I have tens of thousands of hours of TV on trakt, and elsewhere, hundreds of scifi shows. This series is ... superlative garbage. I... hate this show. I shouldn't hate it, it's gorgeous and awesome and I ... hate this. I want to mildly be annoyed, or wishing it could do better, but i can't believe or make myself appreciate it and stop thinking about the stages it went through to become this bad and intolerable
As i started to deconstruct, things became apparent and awful, things i'd glimmered over, are dead ends, and immersive elements that are hit or miss when the story is good, detract from the pilot "movie" in catastrophic ways. Meddling is everywhere.
What ruins this show is not the acting, or the CGI, it's the story and the characters.
Then, it quickly dawned on me that this was a parody, because of one badly written Mary Sue of a character, Michael Burnham. Nothing about the show feels like it should exist when she is in the room, on screen or interacting with other people once you've seen Ep 2. As I watched, and become more disillusioned, the score dropped below a 5. i passed the point of tolerating the show's banality around the point of the second episode's flashbacks to Michael's upbringing and the "vulcan hello", because the character is integral, and damaged. but ultimately, you don't sympathise.
I can see what this was supposed to be, what it was, what it could have been. Burnham is a catalyst, as was Spock. But they overwrote the shit out of the character to get there, and it harms the entire fabric of the universe of the show to get to the point of where she is invulnerable and heroic, brave and stunning, awesome and likeable, charming and elfin, charismatic and effective, smart and capable, vulnerable and emotional, concerned and ruthless, etc.
Yes, we get it. Michael Burnham is a Disney Princess, along with Rey from Force Awakens and Padme from Episode 2, right ? There are action figures in the stores already, right ?
I will definitely keep watching because it's Star Trek, as this is supposed to be "The Original Series" prequel, No.
=FUCK THIS SHOW=
Everything about this show once you remove the billion dollars of money about to be poured into the franchise, is tepid. All the writers that have "polished" or dumbed things down, added a bit of pep or written out dialogue to make it more personable, more emotional, etc. are meddling with a concept that should not need this much work, to the extent that it's severely overwritten and layered insanity on top of insanity. Whatever was clever or good about the first, second or third draft is meaningless.
I don't even need to put a benchmark on this, because they have an android, wearing a Daft Punk Helmet, who is a woman. WHY ? Every answer i've seen to this flatly refuses to point to this character, perhaps because they have no names.
They are expendable, forgettable placeholders. Great.
Here's what I've created for a backstory, because it makes no difference whatsoever ... The Android probably has a tragic orphan backstory where her parents were a windows 10 desktop that suddenly died as a result of installing CCleaner and she was brought up all alone, and grew up on Earth as a triple-monitor desktop, answering search queries for Bing, and in 2120, decided to get a human body, and then in 2210 travelled the stars as a ship's computer, got into a relationship with their captain, which ended badly, had a sex change, hung out with her new friends on vulcan who preferred her as a vertical monitor setup ... and here she is, a highly decorated veteran ship's computer, a valued member of the crew of a starship, adorning a helmet with her vertical monitors showing her proud heritage of being a unique individual who knows who she is ... Oh, and she can also travel through time, her father is secretly Harry Potter, and she can wear earrings and smoke, because she's cool like that too, and, because it's the future, smoking is totally safe because of magic, er nanobots. and also, she's an android so she doesn't have to worry about being a slut, so she's had sex with like, all the cute alien boys and...
etc.
Why are there people with flashing headwear, why is there an android/robot on the crew, interfaces do nothing, or have standard controls. Why does the captain ask for things she knows don't exist. Is it because the crew wants Burnham to die ? I'd believe that. Part of me knows it's a writer's device to show empathy for the Protag when she's in danger, by being so concerned she's desperate for a different answer so she can feel she tried to help as much as possible.
And then there's the video-game holograms and tactical eye-tracking interfaces that don't do anything, that lack cohesion or thought or practical elements from a design POV.
Until i can get past the idea that this is a terribly overblown Fan Fiction like My Immortal or Warcraft the Movie, I keep hitting dead ends where i want to be positive and give it consideration unduly, or see what other people do like about it.
But I can't.
My brain keeps rejecting the writing, the dialogue,
the character motivations are garbage,
the names are irrelevant,
The design of visual elements is distilled failure.
The technical design is fantastic levels of failed design methodology and concept.
world building is broken at a fundamental level because there's no coherence within the established universe or themes, no bridging characters or elements exist other than ... there's phasers and communicators and the logo is the same.
the thematic elements of the "New" federation values,
the sudden expendability of a bridge officer versus a starship with armor and radiation shielding. or a shuttle. or a probe. On a science ship, i guess ? because I tend to trust the instinct of a naval commander that likes to jump on a jetski and "git er dun" to fix problems or investigate an anomaly in the wake of a sun's extreme radiation.
The fact that nobody countermands or prohibits "Michael" as an officer is ... problematic. To let someone with a deathwish be in command, let alone the captain's favourite, the crew must want her dead. This is the only explanation i've been able to conceive of that works here, and it makes the show better if you imagine that the only member of the crew wanting to keep her alive is the computer which is obliged by ethical routines it can't ignore, and the captain, who admires a brattish psychopath who would definitely murder everyone on the crew to prove a point. The speculation of a lesbian relationship is not dismissable, but it's trite and convenient, so there's a strong possibility it actually exists or was muted at some stage.
So, naturally, this is what makes good captains in the future. Ambition, Pride and bare metal confidence in being correct, brown-nosing up to people in higher command, and latent psychotic tendencies. FANTASTIC This, in spite of the Mary Sue elements of an orphaned girl, who is Spock's adopted sister, who has a secret vulcan power of telepathy, and has to be the best person of all time when she's in the room and is always the best; because she's a girl ! with issues! and she wants to help everyone by killing! Just put a fucking light saber in her hand and call her Rey.
I have zero compassion or sympathy because everyone who deals with this level of insanity and tolerates her deserves to die. Gifted isn't the right word, it's Magical thinking that makes this show awesome. By sharp comparison, this makes Enterprise better, and makes the rest of Star Trek worse.
This is sort of the Wookie Defense in a nutshell. If you can accept that there's a reason for this, or you didn't notice, or you did, and have no problems, fuck you. I don't have any strong feelings whatsoever on the Klingons as a threat or as a character, or as a race or culture, because, it is so poorly done in theme that it's obviously a "hook" designed to reel you in.
I don't even trust the hook, the reel, the fish, the fisherman, the concept is bankrupted by the script and design that went into this. I expect this from zombie movies, or first time directors, or reality TV shows, where you don't need a backstory.
Vin Diesel needs to race a car to steal a bank vault, f yeah, lets go with it.
Naval Pilot decides to learn to ice skate because he has cancer, then starts a nuclear war with Iceland, okay, maybe not.
First officer decides to jetpack into a radiation hazard, kills someone, then to hide the evidence, wants to kill the entire ship of people to stop them from becoming martyrs when they find the body, and then decides to attack anyway when everyone around her says no.
Classy. Top Notch Entertainment. 9/10 Excitement and Thrills.