15x18 Despair

Thank you Cas. Thank you Misha Collins. Thank you for all these 11 wonderful years of laughs, heartbreak, quotes and memorable moments. Years of watching one of the best characters of SPN becoming more and more human. I'm gonna miss my blue-eyed, trenchcoated angel so damn much.

Cas' journey started the same way it began: with his handprint on Dean's left shoulder. (Excuse me while I go have a quick cry).

Tragically beautiful. That's my take on the episode. If I say that I was holding up pretty well, I'd be lying. The cherry on the top was that handprint at the end. As I saw it, I could feel my heart breaking. That's the reason the scene hit me really hard. We've seen Cas die before, but the handprint made it look like this is the one.

I swear Misha made me feel feelings. The range of emotions he showed with just his eyes are a close rival to any Dean scene when he cries. Misha is truly wonderful.

Another thing that I noticed was Cas voice shifting from his normal Misha voice to his deep Cas voice. Like when he said "Your dad's blunt instrument". His shifting voice could be a perfect example of how human he's become. (Which could of course be due to emotion and none of this).

Im not gonna go over the "destiel is Canon" stuff. All I'm gonna say is that I loved how many different interpretations of that scene are there. Everyone has their view. Some view it as family, others as brotherly love, some others as fan service. All I can say is that it was a great send off for a nearly perfect character.

Props as well to Rachel Miner as the empty. No one will top Cas or Duma, but she's doing a great job at portraying that insanity, especially in her scene with Jack.

Seeing Sam, Jack and Dean as the only survivors of Chuck' snap, the silence, it all made me realize that the end is near, which, for the first time this season, feels real.

It was a beautiful send off to one of the best characters this show has ever had. Cas' journey through the series has been one of the most entertaining and outstanding ones to watch. Seeing Charlie, Bobby and Donna again was great. I'm really not that sad that Charlie and Bobby are gone. They're not their prime selves so I'm not too attached to them. I'm angry at what they do to Eileen every single time. First, they bring her in, awesome character, just to be killed in what I consider one of the most cruel ways to die (I'm still angry at you writers!) and then, they bring her back just to have an unseen date with Sam in oder to be killed offscreen. She deserves better. Also, is Jack becoming new Death. His presence just made that poor flower go "bye". And the fact that the empty said "You made it loud"... does it mean that all the angels and demons in the empty are now awake? If so, does that mean that Lucifer is go? So, could it all end up the way it was supposed to start, with Lucifer and Michael wearing Sam and Dean, but not to fight themselves, but against Chuck? I guess we'll just have to wait to see. Also, addressing Billie. I'm glad she's gone. I didn't like her. She was deceptive and vengeful, nothing like OG Death. But I got to admit, she brought a certain presence to the show. Although she should be careful about where the hell she leaves her scythe next time. I watched the episode live but I didn't feel like typing straight away. I had a feeling of emptiness inside that I haven't felt in a long time. If literally grown up with the show and thinking about the end, horryfies me. I feel so strange right now that when I think about the episode, my eyes start getting wet. On a side note, I can't stop thi king that they pretty much shot this episode pre-Covid and that they went all this time knowing this happens.

"They just didn't want to overwhelm their friend."

Guess I'm stupid for thinking Charlie was a friend of them all, especially Jack. :/

Castiel, I love you, but I had to pull a face when you described Dean as selfless. That would've worked in season 5 but after all the crap he's done? You're in denial, buddy.

Okay, I don't ship them, but... I'm honestly wondering if it is canon now. Cas's line of not ever being able to have the one thing he wants only adds to the evidence. The real kicker was his "I love you" that I was expecting to be followed by "I love all of you" but wasn't. These writers are really trying to rile up the shipping fanbase without pissing off the rest.

Honestly, I'm not even mad or disappointed or even sad, really. I expected this. I knew Cas was going to go. The writers clearly don't respect him and only keep him around for the sake of plot and because they'd lose a large chunk of their fanbase without him. But at the end of the day, it's just about Sam and Dean. Chuck is a reflective of the writers. To him and to them, everyone can die, be forgotten, be left to a horrendous fate except Sam and Dean. With two episodes left, there's still time for a happily ever after "Everybody lives!" finale, but honestly, while the characters may deserve it, I don't feel like the show itself does...

Signed:
~SophieFilo16~