2x10 The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood

Psychological traumas are unprocessed experiences. When something bad happens to you and you can't process it (i.e. make sense of it), you develop a psychological trauma, and it stays that way (or worsens) until you manage to process it.
While processing traumatic experiences is, of course, the healthy way to go, instead of suppressing those feelings, Asta was way off when she began to romanticize the "bad feelings". Would she say the same thing to someone who was raped or tortured? Would she lecture them to keep their trauma so they can "become stronger"? The same problematic message was echoed by that idiot Elliott ("We are who we are because of our history, not in spite of it"). This romanticization is literally the opposite of what psychotherapy teaches you so you can overcome your traumas. If we could magically erase our traumatic experiences without a trace, that would've been the healthiest choice. Suppressing is unhealthy because it is not like forgetting.

Also, the way Kate handled Ben's vulnerability was absolutely horrible! Imagine if the genders were swapped and the wife tells her husband that she's afraid of him and he replies "I don't believe it. Do you know how that makes ME feel?"... That's how a narcissist victim-blames to avoid responsibility because they don't have empathy for that person. The compassionate thing for Kate to say would've been a simple "I'm sorry I make you feel this way" and go from there.