3x05 Healing

Jeremy:
As we filled the shelves I was sucked into a truly extraordinary biology lesson.

Rafe:
The mushroom is just the sexual reproductive organ of mycelium.

Jeremy:
I don’t know what that word is you keep using. Mycelium.

Rafe:
The mycelium is the organism. The mushroom is the sexual reproductive organ.

Jeremy:
The sexual reproductive organ of the mycelium is the mushroom? So the mushroom is a penis?

Rafe:
A mushroom is a penis. Its whole objective in life is to fruit, release as many spores as possible and then die.

Jeremy:
So when I see a vegan eating a mushroom, you can go: “You’re actually eating a meaty penis”?

Rafe:
“Get that penis out of your mouth. Yeah!
You absolutely can”!

Jeremy:
Al over the farm there are splodges of land like this, an acre here, two acres there and so on, which over the years, I’ve used to grow maize, mostly, which is great for the songbirds. It’s good food for them and it’s somewhere for them to hide. It’s also been quite useful for the pheasants that I rear to shoot at Christmas time, but we’ll gloss over that.

Mushrooms are space penises, enjoy!