Another Bond pastiche from Matthew Vaughn, and once again it’s worse than the last one. Here we have what is basically another Kingsman film, but this time it’s made for the wine moms who had found their new favorite film with The Lost City. The plot is quite bonkers, it's so dense and the amount of schlocky plot twists indicate that Vaughn’s at least somewhat aware of how tasteless it all is. Sometimes you can still find traces of the cleverness you’d expect from him, but generally it favours being loud and cringe. I understand that he’s targeting a different demographic here than with Kingsman, but the end result is so tame and commercial that it feels more like typical streaming filler (Red Notice, Ghosted). Some of the acting is atrocious. Obviously Rockwell puts in the best work, but it doesn’t make up for the stiff performances by Cavill, Howard and Lipa (though she gets a pass for being Dua Lipa). The directing is also noticeably a step down compared to Vaughn’s previous stuff. It doesn’t feel like he put much heart and soul in this, because besides some good stuntwork it looks like shit. There’s just so much plastic sheen (artificial bright lighting, tacky CGI, unnatural compositions and camera movement) that it becomes incredibly ugly to look at. You could pass that off as ‘well it’s meant to be cartoonish’, but I’m not going to make that leap when there’s this little artistry to it. Vaughn needs to stop making these, the whole thing feels predictable and played out.
2.5/10
TL;DR: Deceivingly good trailer, shit movie.
It pains me to write a review like this when I'm a fan of Cavill, Cena and Jackson.
The writer and director just couldn't make up their mind what kind of movie it is supposed to be. They could've gone for: 1) light-hearted spy movie with a few clichéd plot points 2) romance 3) 'normal' type of comedy 4) 'absurd' type of comedy. They went for all 4.
The plot didn't make sense, and they were more concerned with making fun and cool moments rather than a cohesive film. Here's some examples:
Why was Argyle being all seductive to Ellie in her 'hallucinations', if it was just her own subconscious trying to bring back her memory? Why was Aiden shown as Argyle if it was really Ellie herself? When the oil skating scene was over all I could think of was why weren't her knees covered in oil?
The CGI was terrible. Dua Lipa clearly never touched the accelerator on her bike. Even the server room looked bad.
So why are reviewers already saying this movie sucks ? Not even out yet.
Like me on a date, Argylle tries way too hard yet somehow still fails to deliver.
It's an ambitious film that loses its stellar cast and excessive production means in too many forced twists and turns.
Never have I seen a movie go from Hollywood to Bollywood at such a fast pace. Every second I was thinking that it can't get worse, but it actually did!
I can’t finish this. The constant switching between Rockwell and Cavill is a giant headache, also wtf is up with this shitty soundtrack, the songs they chose for these gun fights are atrocious. That smoke grenade gunfight has to be the worst gun fight I’ve seen in cinema in a long time. All I can think of was that poor cat.
Who was the intended audience for this movie?
God awful, cringe, waste of time. The one liners and twists show lack of writing skill. The music selection is generic department store garbage. The violence is overtame, even tho the amount of it shown via action scenes suggests it wasn’t meant to be. I’d actually give it a 0/10 if Trakt let me, but alas. I implore you all to miss this piece of dog shit excuse of a film.
How can you have a cast like this and somehow make everyone look crap?
- The first act which is the best part is from Kingsman: The Secret Service.
- The second act is the crap from Kingsman: The Golden Circle.
- As for the final act well honestly I don't fucking know, I was gonna suggest those scenes were something straight out of a recent Fast and Furious movie but as funny as this may sound that would have been insulting. That skating scene especially is up there as one of the stupidest scenes ever. The Bryce Dallas Howard character twist was a total miscast in the end.
- Matthew Vaughn needs to find that magic again from Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class and certainly the first Kingsman: The Secret Service if he thinks he can keep making movies like this with massive budgets.
I'm not so sure whether I've simply forgotten how to have fun with really stupid movies or whether Matthew Vaughn simply can't manage to make his truly dumb movies fun anymore. After 'The King's Man' and now 'Argylle', however, I'm leaning towards the second scenario. Because in the director's new movie, it feels like he's shouting 'Have fun already' in the audience's face the whole time. But you just can't force that to happen.
Vaughn's unique style is still clearly recognizable, but somehow it no longer works as well as in his earlier films. This is particularly evident in the colorful and absurd action sequences in the finale, which are extremely dynamic but still bored me to death. And honestly, the whole cliché of CGI fluids splashing around in action scenes and leaving no trace on the characters' clothes is something I just don't want to see anymore (I'm looking at you, 'Renfield').
The story can't save the movie, either. Apart from a whole series of twists, one of which is stupider than the next, it has nothing to offer. The characters are also weak. On top of that, the runtime is far too long, so I definitely won't ever watch this movie again. Accordingly, I have absolutely no interest in this franchise or the hinted-at crossover.
it's entertaining, but I think they overcomplicate it with so many twists, some scenes are ridiculous or pretend to be ridiculous
Well, I loved it. Genuine twists and turns are a rarity these days. Normally requires an insulting level of sign-posting, not here!
This movie was soooo perfect. All the goals of sich cheesy love spy novels :two_hearts: enjoyed it very much
The overall idea of the film is interesting and had potential, but oh man what a big pile of over the top mess…
It looks so bad, most of the time. You always have the feeling that most of what you see is filmed in front of a green screen (soft edges around actors and cg looking backgrounds). The lighting and surroundings look super artificial and keep pulling you out of the film.
The story has its moments, buts keeps interrupting and disturbing the overall flow by revealing an unnecessary plot twist every other scene . The cast tries the best they can with their roles, but the overall writing just isn’t that great.
The film gets worse over time and just keeps on going to the point where I thought, when does it stop.
It's clear the marketing team was aware this one was a stinker, and quickly crafted a blitz to drum up manufactured hype around a twist that is as dissatisfying as the potentially-intentionally shotty green screen keying.
Wow, really Hanry just wow this is maybe his worst movie :thumbsdown:
Matthew Vaughn has lost it. Big time!!!
3-10 poor
A movie with so many great actors and yet you get this pile of :poop:
This goes to show you can throw as much money as you like at a movie and your still get a stinker….
Starting the year off with schlock – I don’t want to see Sam Rockwell in a movie this bad again.
Does this movie work? No, not really. It's undeniably a mess. I think Apple did themselves a disservice with their marketing, though. Putting Henry Cavill and Dua Lipa front and center, "from the twisted mind of Matthew Vaughn" – people were not ready for a questionably self-aware, completely absurd, silly movie.
Sure, it has awful CGI and plot holes bigger than John Cena's biceps. But personally, when I see Sam Rockwell impatiently explaining the mechanics of head stomping, or Bryce Dallas Howard ice skating through oil using knives stuck to her boots while her dress remains spotless, I can't help but have a good time.
It had potential....but tripe! (Unfortunately)
Probably one of the stupidest movies ever.
This was a whole lot of fun. It is a surreal action comedy and not to be taken too seriously. The leads drive it forward with charisma and energy. BDH is a breath of fresh air in the lead role and Sam Rockwell always lifts any role.
Set pieces were energetic and twists were fun. Just go with it and don't think to hard and you will have a lot of fun.
pure shyte. where have all the good movies gone.
Matthew Vaughn has not been the same since Kingsman: The Golden Circle.
Argylle is another misfire from the director. It’s overlong with awful pacing and over-stuffed set pieces—noticeable visual effects by, who I am assuming, underpaid and stressed-out visual artists. They like The Beatles song - Now And Then because they played it many times. I like the song, but how the film used it in the story and what it meant to the characters could have been better.
At first, I thought the first half was decent at best, but everything else quickly went downhill after that. You know, it is said that good movies get better with each passing thought, but this is the opposite, as it gets worse as time goes by.
Sam Rockwell is the only decent part of this. He is the type of actor that elevates everything that he is in. He is the Philip Seymour Hoffman of our time. Hoffman and Rockwell are always good in movies, as they bring a creative flavour to sometimes flavourless material. Sam Rockwell needs to pick better movies.
Despite being put all over the posters and marketing, Henry Cavil is barely in this movie. It is much worse with John Cena, who is given nothing in this film. The same thing for Samuel L. Jackson, who does not need to be in this film as he is a nothing character.
The action scenes range from impressive to not impressive. The impression part comes towards the end with the corridor fight scene with all the coloured smoke flare. And the least impressive being everything else. The action and fight scenes lacked that dynamic punch.
Overall Rating: The writer of the movie is named Jason Fuchs. No, he isn’t related to Fred Fuchs. But who gives a fuch, right?
Perfect trailer, sub-par movie. What a waste of good actors!
This might be the worst story I've seen since the millennium.
This movie very, very badly wants to be a whole host of much better movies, and falls flat on every level. Boring, predictable, and much too long for what it does.
Utter dog cat shit.
What a colossal waste of time.
They obviously aimed to make a Kingsman-like movie, but failed miserably. The more you're watching it, the more ridiculous it gets in many aspects. Even Sam Rockwell (whom I love in any movie) didn't save it, even though he was the best. The main girl-character doesn't have any charisma or good acting skills, so didn't care about her at all. The rest of the good cast and big names didn't help this movie either.
If you want to see a really fun spy-like movie with Sam Rockwell just watch "Mr. Right". So much better.
ngl i was enjoying the movie before that twist i wanted to enjoy a cheesey action funny movie but it tried to be something that it's not and i would've at least respected that but with the amount of cringe and predictable scenes i just can't
What a truly bizarre movie. Starts a bit like that Cameron Diaz & Tom Cruise one, and then suddenly goes off the rails completely while continuing to gain speed exponentially – it feels like Matthew Vaughn tries really hard to put an outrageous twist every few minutes just for the sake of it, every time trying to top the previous one which the movie still has not had the time to recover from. But for its own good, it doesn't pretend to be anything more serious than that, so if you are willing to just go along for the ride (with the truly amazing cast too), you can have a good time.
Enjoyable spy film with lots of twist and turns. Maybe I was having an off day but I didn't see some of them coming. It's nice to be caught off guard for once. The action scenes were really well done. I also enjoyed the banter between the characters. I've seen some folks complaining about the action being unbelievable but I enjoyed it.
@Jim222001 - I KNOW, and yet, the previews look awesome, the cast is stellar, although, it does seem to be channeling or at least "hat tipping" "Bullet Train", to wit, I think it will be 2024's version of it, or perhaps, with Samuel L, "Kingsman: The Secret Service".. I'm looking forward to it!!
Argylle TEASER Trailer: https://www.fandango.com/videos/player/argylle-teaser-trailer-2267120707717?autoplay=true
Argylle Trailer 2: https://www.universalpictures.com/movies/argylle
I had no idea what to write about this after Wifey and I watched this in the cinemas... Especially when we got out of there thoroughly entertained and I heard what everybody else thought, but... sorry guys...after this rewatch I'm actually even more sure.
I can't hate a film where Bryce Dallas Howard is THIS charming in. Besides... I'm a cat person... so... shrugs
Romancing the Stone Meets Kingsman
Don't let amateur movie previewers dictated your taste in film. A lot of Cavill's fans were hoping to get a portrayal of James Bond from Cavill in Argylle and didn't get it. Cavill had done so with Men from UNCLE and he wasn't planning to repeat himself.
The main heroes of this film is Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell. They were both excellent. If there is a complain it would Howard was in a heavier stature than before, but her acting were spot on.
Cavill and Sena's role were figment of Howard's imagination, so they had minor roles but impactful.
Matthew Vaughn certainly created the visually engaging and exciting action scenes, although like Kingsman, it was cartoonish.
The story kept unfolding hidden chaoters rhat exciting to see, including the unexpected ending, which opened a sequel to be explored. If there will be a sequel, it will be more Cavill on screen.
If you're looking for fun film to watch and laughter, go watch Argylle, it's a fun movie.
I really liked this one.
You need to shut off your Brain, but if you do and don't mind plot-twists that you can see coming 50 miles ahead, its an enjoyable 2h
The perfect silly over the top popcorn flick.
A fun breezy action movie that almost loses itself under its own weight if it weren’t for the Matthew Vaughn of it all. It’s too long and it has to reckon with its own exposition but there is enough to enjoy.
A big twist with lots of twists within that big twist, you can never read a book by it's cover, had some good action in it as well along with a cool cast and effects and i enjoyed it, was fun but did have some cheesy parts but more pros than bad. P.S poor cat.
Dire, just dire. I guess they were aiming for a Kingsman meets Bullet Train with this but failed miserably. The best part of this movie was absolutely the first 3 minutes that also happens to be the trailer! I suspect they also thought casting Henry Cavill in this would carry it, making up for the shortfall in movie quality, epic fail again. It’s not helped in any way by the story which is absolutely ridiculous making even the most far fetched espionage movie, comedy or not, appear sensible and credible, the smoke grenade battle scene was the worst I’ve ever seen, totally cringeworthy. The final nail in the coffin is the crap sound track. I really don’t get what the point of making this was at all and in all honesty REALLY struggled to watch it through to the end, even then I only had the second half on in the background while I was reading. I’m just glad I didn’t pay to see it yet I still want my money back!
I didn't like it, it was definitely too long and therefore repetitive with its action twists.
Honestly? So bad it's good. The last 30 minutes are a disorienting whirlwind of increasingly escalation shenanigans that had me literally screaming WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. And I can't help but respect that.
This didn't work in any way which kinda makes it work.
Sheesh.... so much potential but painful to push through to the end. Super muddled and confusing in the middle. It continued that theme to the end.
The movie started good with a interesting premise but at the half way mark just went off the rails stupid.
I recently watched The Kingsman and absolutely hated the absurd last 20 minutes of that movie. Argylle saw that review and said "hold my beer". The funny thing about this movie is that - not unlike The Kingsman - it actually had a pretty decent setup. It could have just remained what it was and I would have been fine with it. The last 30 - 40 minutes are downright stupid, even for a movie in this genre.
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Watched 1 hour and can’t be bothered to watch the rest. Terrible movie.
Even Apple was questioning themselves after funding this 200 million mammoth shit fest.
The first half of the movie was okay for me. The second half is just a mess and I couldn't even finish the film, it was a stupid dancing and shooting at the same time
I really liked Kick-Ass and Kingsman so being from the same director, I had to watch this film. I admit that the fact that Harry Cavill was in the film influenced me a little but as I went to see it without having seen the trailer I was a little disappointed with his participation, I quickly changed my mind when the train scene started which was my favorite part, so like that Just like the films I mentioned at the beginning, the fight choreography was very good with that touch of comedy that makes everything better, the character I loved most was the very cute cat. Moving on, I found the story quite predictable and I already knew what was going to happen before the scenes even started, but the final scene left me a little curious. So overall, I thought the film was good, it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Argylle - :heart:x7
This was simply a LOT of fun. A lot of fun action, and some silliness. There are even a couple of surprises. But best of all - is the cat.
How I rate:
1-3 :heart: = seriously! don't waste your time
4-6 :heart: = you may or may not enjoy this
7-8 :heart: = I expect you will like this too
9-10 :heart: = movies and TV shows I really love!
A spy half parody, with a huge cast. The basic idea is not new, but it works. Kinda starts more fun, then get more and more serious, with several really stupid little touches here and there to remind that it's still kind of parody.
Get ready for so many changes of direction, with revelations that change everything we knew until then, over and over again. I usually like the layers over layers style but several were really way too much, too big, too far fetched, too irreconcilable with the rest of the story.
I get that some of it is the point, and if what you like is "the bigger the better", you'll love it. But to me the movie has a hard time juggling with its two aspects. If it went all in on the crazy stupid stuff, then why not, anything would be fine. But it does not. It's never totally crazy, it tries to always keep a part of a serious spy story. And because of that, several of the crazy part go a bit too far and only end up hurting the serious part of the story instead of adding some fun to it.
I guess this is really a matter of taste, but for instance for me, in two cases that are quite alike:
the ice skating fight on oil: It's bit stupid, but really fun. An unorthodox solution to an unorthodox situation. Not quite sure it would work, or maybe it would set fire to the whole place. But that's a bit crazy sequence that still fits the narrative, and could actually be an answer to the present issue. It stays reasonable (she's not jumping and looping everywhere or act as if in front of an audience)
On the other hand: the ultra choreographed dance/fight with colored smoke: Totally insufferable. It makes not a bit of sense, there's not a moment where their moves would actually be an advantage in a situation where their lives are in danger. It's just ridiculous, looks stupid, is way too long. Also, kinda of a stupid glorification of violence, people are killed not because it's a fight for their lives, but because they're kinda having fun killing them with needlessly complicated artsy moves.
As for the twists, the fact that she IS a spy is a bit too easy, hinted since the very beginning, and actually a letdown for the interest of the story. Everything started to be less interesting and fun there.
The complete brainwashing with new parents and everything, the fact that everyone let it continue for YEARS, also means she wrote 5 full novels from scratch in 5 years by the way, that kinda got out of hands since she became an international star, with no one ever finding out she did not exist before, with the risk of exposure, with no one in the business realizing that the stories are real is one of the way too far fetched ideas (on so many levels here) that break the story for me.
Other than the story, Sam Rockwell is really amazing there.
Bryan Cranston is great as usual.
Henry Cavill's character is painful to watch in its cringeness, which I assume is the point and so good job on his part.
Howard does the job in the beginning, a bit less convincing in the end.
The action scene are decent.
OK entertainment, annoying at some points, but ok.
There's a thin line that separates a movie from becoming a parody . This movie crossed that line.
Imagine a teen girl was made to watch a bunch of Bond and Ocean’s 11 Movies in a Daddy Daughter bonding weekend marathon, then woke up Monday morning and said I can do way better than that.
Argylle would be that movie. I can totally see why there’s a rumor about Taylor Swift writing this (even though she didn’t). Because it’s meant for the attention and knowledge of a teenager.
Basically - ‘007’ meets ‘Kingsman’ meets ‘Ocean’s 11’ meets ‘The Lost City’. Hoping to draw in people from all demographics, it loses instead.
Fun movie but damn complicated. Was it linked to kingsman?
Very good premise and it could have been great of not for the main actress not having a good fit with this role. It's a 7.5 instead of an 8 because it tried just too hard to be funny.
It has a really nice twist, but the overall movie is medium. It has some fun parts and its always nice to watch Sam Rockwell dance. The easter egg of Kingsman was weird, but ok. A 7 because Alfie the cat
I haven't seen this film, yet, but I do question why they would put one of the most handsome men on the planet in this film w/ that haircut. There are people that will go see this film just b/c, Henry Cavill is in it, but I'm also willing to bet that some of them will have seen this movie poster and thought, "Nah, I'm good." What would compel a filmmaker to make a decision like that?
Too twisty for its own good, but there are lots of fun moments in this entertaining - but overlong - movie.
Couldn't they hire more fat lady to be the role character than Bryce ?
This movie could be better without her
wow, so much negative comments that again found me completely surprised.
First of all i haven't seen the trailer so i didn't know if it was measliding or anything. Starting and realizing the story of the book i didn't like the idea of making her about living the things she wrote and all the appearance of Argylle, thankfully this all passed in a perfect timing on the train and then the movie become so much fun and super entertaining! i love how they pulled an Alias out of the movie, how they twisted everything about it, the fight with the dance and the smokes was ridiculous fantastic if you just turn your brain off.
The movie was very enjoyable and you will have a perfect time.
Also Bryce Dallas Howard was really good, and sexy as the girl next door and she looks a lot like Jessica Chastain and Christina Hendrick.
And to clear things up that was NOT a Greek Coffee, a discrase to say that
A reasonable film, whose first part is promising, but which loses its shine with twists in the middle of the plot that make it generic, resembling many other films with similar themes. However, the action scenes are excellent.
it was so goofy and over the top i would prefer if the whole movie where like the first chase scene.
I expected a silly spy comedy with a few ouch moments. Instead, I enjoyed an entertaining spy film with reasonable visual effects (not top-drawer but good enough for a non-serious film) and excellent plot twists. Yes, the alternating characters in Elly's mind are sometimes confusing, but not enough to lose track of who is who. The smoke grenade gunfight was well choreographed and visually delightful.
This was not a good movie. That’s all I have to say.
Did anyone bother to proof read this script? A twist then a twist then a twist... then another & another one doesn't make a good plot, it breaks it.
Good grief. This was just... awful. I can't remember the last time I DNFd a movie.
Such a good trailer. Such a bad movie.
So many talented cast wasted in a single movie. Ahh, I need to go and search for a good movie to lose the hangover of this movie!
The film begins with a great tone and a lot of fun, grabbing the viewer from the first few minutes. However, from the second act onwards it loses some of its initial charm and becomes more predictable and boring, diluting the excitement and surprise it promised at the beginning.
Despite these ups and downs in the plot, Sam Rockwell's impeccable performance stands out, as he shines in his role and elevates the quality of the film with his screen presence. His acting talent adds depth and charisma to his character, making him one of the highlights of the film. In contrast to the lead, Bryce Dallas Howard, who fails to adequately play her role, which negatively affects her character's credibility as an action heroine. Her performance lacks the strength and conviction to carry the weight of the story, making it difficult for the viewer to connect emotionally with her.
In addition, the film suffers from predictable plot twists, which detract from the impact of the film's development and cause the story to lose some of its originality. These twists, which promise to surprise the viewer, end up being too predictable and fail to generate the desired impact.
Finally, the choreography of the action scenes at the end of the film leaves a lot to be desired compared to those at the beginning, which are great and exciting.
In all honesty, if Henry Cavill were not in the film, the film would have garnered more than a few more stars.
i watched this on long Easter weekend
i had a good time with a few beers - not great, but i like Sam Rockwell
definitely not a crowd pleasure though with the rest of the family
so, i could see this being a mixed bag
A quirky fun take on a Spy film which was entertaining and crazy with several good twists in it, I did like it ;-)
Loved this movie... plenty of laughs and they did a great job of blending the book and real life scenes.
Lots of twists - had no idea what was going to happen next. Looks like another one is coming in the future.
10/10
Another great example, that while Apple can have all the money in the world, they can't create anything. Was Jobs really the only person there that had any taste?
While this started ok, it quickly became unwatchable, stupid story and stupid characters. Not sure what happened to Bryce, but she starts to look like the Michelin man. Have you noticed that none of the male spies were obese? I wonder why.
This movie was fucking bananas
A Kingsman movie with even more bullshit, I hope there ain't a sequel in works.
I thought it was a decent enough movie until i realized I still had almost a full hour of it left... Doh!
Good movie until it is just a silly mess. Was promising.
im so conflicted, it was an amazing cast, and i loved how cavil, cena and jackson played, but im really dissapointed in the movie, the idea was great, i like the first few plottwists, but at a given moment "it was just too much, and they turned too much to the ridiquele.
i wouldn't have minded if they had dared to make a spy movie, with some original takes and a bit of humor here and there to lighten the mood, but im afraid they messed up the ratio in this one
It was fun, somewhat predictable, and about 45 minutes too long; that said it was worth finishing.
The plot was too absurd for me. The visuals, camerawork and creativity was the only good part that made it even slightly watchable. Usually you are impressed by the reveals in spy thrillers but in this you just go, “WTF!”
A pretty standard movie. I watched it on the airplane and still found myself wondering up and down the isles annoying people. The captain had to come out and duck tape me to my seat.
I don't know man. I'm 55 minutes into this thing and getting a strange feeling that they totally catfished us. The movie has an all-star cast including Henry 'frikin' Cavill and John Cena. It's a spy movie. Yet, somehow I feel underwhelmed. It's not a serious Spy Movie. At the same time, it isn't a parody either. I'm finding it quite boring, even with the forced plot twists every ten minutes.
PS: Watching Bryce Dallas Howard jiggling around like a pudding doesn't help either. The woman seriously needs to lay off the pudding. :rofl:
There's just something Matthew Vaughn does that makes his movies comically bad in a good way. The type that knows it's silly and laughable on purpose. The soundtracks always banging. The casting is always beautiful. The CGI is always exotic, although some of the greenscreening was sketchy. I loved the world switching and plot twists, but did she write a gay novel between Henry and John? The realisation of so many things was just mind-boggling. The reason this isn't getting a higher rating is because kingsman is way better.
What am I watching? A modern version of Romance and the stone? Dua Lipa was the most interesting thing in the movie. Shame she died at the beginning! Otherwise a waste of time to watch. :(
Random plot with tbf random cast. The movie doesn't know whether its made for kids or adults. Tacky. Fell asleep in the last 20 minutes of the movie.
This movie was weird. Felt bullet train fun to get going and then devolved into an over the top spoof that'd have naked gun cringing. Great actors, just a weird peyote trip of a flick in the final act. 5.4
It was great - funny, entertaining, interesting plot twists- until it started to be complete bizarre 20 minutes to the end. Until then I really enjoyed it.
Until they started to fight in that smoke and she started to ice skate on oil.. I think these two scenes ruined the movie.
Such a peculiar film. Everything about it feels off.
I was initially a little unsure as to what I thought about 'Argylle', but in the end: it's a no from me. I couldn't actually tell you one thing that I properly liked about this, like at a push Sam Rockwell and Bryan Cranston are decent but even they get a bit hit-and-miss. There's just a constant tinge of lousiness that follows around throughout.
Bryce Dallas Howard feels miscast, even if she is fairly likeable. Henry Cavill is wooden (intentionally? doubtful), as is Dua Lipa but the musician has enough charm to make it work slightly. Speaking of music, all that is used here is alright but again feels off - mostly seems like the correct type of song, just the wrong exact choice of song... "Electric Energy" might grow on me, though.
What also doesn't help is the unavoidable feeling that it is a bad redo of 'Kingsman', which is expected given who directed this and all that they are planning with the two flicks behind the scenes. I'm all for a shared universe, though this is perhaps too on the nose. There are also 'The Lost City' (itself echoing 'Nim's Island') vibes sprinkled in too. Another negative is the special effects, especially at the start... less said, the better.
Overall, I think it all boils down to being a poor film - unfortunately, as I kinda wanted to like it but simply couldn't. Actually, it's just come to me, I just remembered a scene I actually did truly enjoy: the one with Leona Lewis' "Run" track. That was actually entertaining.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that when you wake up from a dream, the particulars of said dream almost instantaneously begin to slip away from you. You can remember the big points, and the way it made you feel, but the details and logic are as long-lasting as a Snapchat.
Watching Argylle is, in this sense – and this sense only – like a dream.
With the amount of money that Universal has dumped into marketing this movie, you would assume that most people with a passing interest in movies would be familiar with the basis: a writer’s novels somehow contain prescient details about an ongoing conflict between warring spy factions, and they are both after her to find out how to win. Interesting, right?
Well, that’s not what this movie is about.
At all.
I would say that the next paragraph contains spoilers, but it’s difficult to spoil something that’s already so thoroughly rotten. The final trailer (which played in front of just about every screening of any movie for the past three months) implores audiences, “once you know the secret, don’t let the cat out of the bag”. This movie so completely abandons its advertised premise that an audience member would be hard pressed to do so; but I’ll give it my best shot.
Ellie Conway is an author whose Agent Argylle books somehow seem to have preordained knowledge of international and political happenings; things in real life tend to happen as they do in the books. Ellie is soon targeted by warring spy factions because of this ability – or so she thinks. Rescued by good-spy Aiden, Ellie is soon swept up into a whirlwind conflict that spans continents. Aiden is depending on her “power of foresight” to help figure out what to do next, but that almost immediately devolves into sleuthing, not supernatural or technological prescience. As the search continues, it’s explained that the events of the Argylle novels happened before Ellie wrote the books…so the idea of her writing things into existence is shattered irreparably, and the entire inciting concept behind this movie is destroyed by how contrary this revelation is to the rules of the plot that were explained in the first hour. And yet, that fact is skipped over with abandon. Toss in gratuitous twists, logic leaps of epic proportions, manufactured shocks, and a ham-fisted attempt at visualizing a sort of schizophrenic break, and you’ve got the brain twisting mess that is Argylle.
If that paragraph confused you, you’re on the right track to understanding what it feels like to watch this movie.
The most notable thing about this film is that it wanted very badly to successfully employ the stylistic devices that Matthew Vaughn’s other action films have in their arsenal. Unfortunately, it had next to none of the flair or style that those films have, and what little it mustered, it borrowed wholesale from these superior films. Vaughn has carried over his penchant for percussive combat choreography matched up with toe-tapping needle drops. A few of the sequences are pure camp (taking out an entire garrison of bad guys while skating over an oil spill on skates made of boots and knives, for example), but in a movie that cannot decide what it wants its tone to be, they feel incredibly out of place. The best moments also come far too late into the movie, when the audience is already too far detached to be won back – a silent theatre after the aforementioned oil spill sequence in tonight’s viewing was all the evidence necessary to assert as much. It doesn’t help that an all-star cast is forced to deliver dialogue like, “Do you know why I’m the secret keeper? Because I keep them,” while mugging like they just dropped the most quotable moment ever seen on film.
If Barbie and Oppenheimer were the height of living up to hype, then Argylle is the lowest point at the opposite end of the spectrum in recent memory.
If you’re in the mood for a camp spy action film, just watch the Kingsman movies.
They’re what Argylle wanted to be anyway.
This movie is cheap, over the top and corny so i want to hate it, but i cant help but like it.
This sentence really sums it up for me, its because of some scenes that i enjoyed but i definitely didnt love it over all
That beeing said, the only serious gripe i have is i felt like i got cheated by the trailer. The first half of the movie was amazing, the second was good. I would have prefered her staying an author instad of that nonsense. (mild spoilers)
Also didnt think the main couple really didnt need to happen...
It was okay I suppose. It didn't grab me from the start so it took quite a while to reach a point where I felt some investment in the characters and plot, and from that point onwards it had some funny moments and some decent action, it certainly wasn't a bad film, but the CGI stunts and CGI cat looked unconvincing and the balance of screentime for some characters just felt rather odd, so many stars with just a few minutes of screentime yet the film was still so long, I feel some of the lesser characters could have been given more time to breathe.
Twisty Twists makes this movie go dumb dumb. This movie had a lot going for it great actors, director and in first two acts great action set pieces. The movie goes straight looney tunes in its third act to its detriment. Don’t get me wrong there is some laughs throughout and you can power through the dumb, but it’s a bummer that it dropped my rating a solid point. Also the post scene didn’t do much for me. Felt like they wanted the audience to go AHA!
As much as I wanted this to be like Kingsman, it had none of the whimsy until one scene near the end.
damn.. how did they manage to gather such a number of great actors..
Shout by GanonTEKBlockedParent2024-02-07T23:04:47Z
Really enjoyed this. A fun movie. Yes, it's over the top and a bit ridiculous but I liked it.